Page 46 of Scarred Redemption

The way his eyebrows furrowed indicated some sense of confusion. “What do you think?”

I wanted to say unequivocably there was no way he could do that, but I just wasn’t entirely certain. “I don’t know and it kills me that I don’t.”

He looked away briefly and I witnessed his entire body tensing. “I can assure you that I haven’t lied to you. I have a code of honor whether you want to believe me or not.”

“That’s right. Some Bratva thing. Code of Thieves, right?”

“I have my own moral code as instilled by my father. As I said, believe me or don’t. That’s your choice.”

Hearing the angst in his voice made me angry at the bastard who was putting us all through this. “Then I choose to believe you.”

“I’m glad to hear it as I would never try and hurt you.”

How could I tell him that by assuming I’d marry him and even telling his soldiers as much, he had already hurt me? “Do me a favor. Find out who that woman and little girl were. Someone loved them. They were someone’s daughter or wife, sister or child. They belonged to someone and deserve a proper burial.”

He acted as if what I’d asked him was for him to dig up the graves himself. When he nodded a few seconds later, I almost broke into laughter.

“What would your answer have been had I asked you in Fiji?” His question held another ray of hope and the man I truly adored.

“I think I would have said yes.” The next few seconds were just as awkward and, in several ways, just as powerful. “I can tell you have an idea of who is ceremoniously trying to destroy you. At some point you will finally need to trust me enough to tell me why.”

“It’s not about my lack of trust, Isabel.”

“Then what is it? Trying to protect me?”

“Yes.” He had no intention of sharing the full truth at any point no matter how much I pushed him.

“Then what you’re saying is that I’ve become your weakness.”

“Yes, Isabel. You and Mina have and will continue being considered my only weakness,” he murmured, finally looking me in the eyes as he’d done before. “And because of my carelessness, I placed a target on your back.”

“How? How exactly were you so careless?”

“By allowing myself to feel again. Anyone who knows me on any level realized from the day I met you that you mean something to me. I never attend events such as the gala where we met. Never and everyone knows that. I was there because of you, dancing with you in that packed ballroom where friends and enemies alike witnessed the armor I’d so carefully placed around my heart and soul slipping aside. They watched with a front row seat while I allowed you a volatile but permanent place in my world. In doing so, I provided everyone with a poisoned arrow ready to strike at will. For a little while, I forgot all about who I was and the responsibilities that came with the job. And why? Because I was foolish enough to believe I deserved to feel happiness for a second time.”

His admittance tore at every heartstring. “You do. Of course you do. What happened to Anastasia was terrible, a horrible crime committed by some reprehensible monsters, but it wasn’t your fault. You deserve to enjoy every moment of every single day.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. On both counts.”

My God, how frustrating he could be.

“Then maybe I was right and I should leave. In doing so, I’ll no longer be a temptation you can’t seem to refuse.” My glare held nothing against his striking gaze of unbridled need.

“There’s no turning back. Not at this point. I was exposed for who I truly am and the lengths I’d go through to keep you safe. The only way of doing so is by evoking old loyalties, the old ways that kept my mother protected from my father’s enemies. Besides that, you pegged me accurately on the night we engaged in that passionate dance. I am the kind of man who will never take no for an answer. I won’t let you go.”

He’d issued the final words and I wasn’t entirely certain how I felt hearing them.

But I couldn’t deny how I felt about him.

I blinked several times, completely uncertain what to say and there was much to be said. But not tonight. Neither one of us could handle the horrible ugliness of what we’d still face. “I have a life and a job I love.”

“You will still have a life.”

“As what?” I could tell he wasn’t entirely certain how to answer me.

“After we returned from Fiji,” he continued as if the other conversation had come to a happy conclusion, “I was going to ask you to become my wife at Mina’s birthday party. However, I sensed you were pulling away and that killed me. Later, Hope told me you had plans on breaking it off altogether.”

“What? She told you that? When?”