Page 3 of Scarred Redemption

“No, I will not. You can’t do this to yourself. There is no need, for fuck’s sake. You’re already fucking losing your mind. Don’t do this.”

Every reaction as of late was involuntary. I had my hand snapped around his throat and had driven him into the wall before he could react. The brutal thud was jarring for both of us, something clattering to the floor on the other side of the wall.

“I am not losing my mind. However, I am the Pakhan and you have no right to tell me what to do.” I didn’t even recognize my own voice.

He grabbed my arm while shaking his head. “Max. Ikh bol'she net. Nichego uzhe ne podelayesh'. Oplakivay ikh, no ne terzay sebya.”

They're gone. There is nothing you can do. Grieve for them, but do not torture yourself.

Hearing him speaking Russian shocked me into realizing what the fuck I was doing. My hand slipped away and I pulled away to face the door, running my hands through my hair several times.

He remained behind me, completely silent.

Seconds ticked by.

“I know they’re gone, Roman. I’m neither a fool nor an idiot. They’re dead. My baby girl and the woman I loved are… gone. They were fucking slaughtered. I wasn’t allowed to say goodbye and that’s exactly what I plan on doing. Positive identification is needed for the death certificates.”

“Your goodbyes are what the funeral is for. And she had a sister; the next of kin is required for identification.”

“Bullshit. That’s not good enough. Don’t you understand? The sisters were estranged.”

He grumbled behind me. “Yes, I do understand. You don’t want to admit they’re gone.”

For whatever reason, his statement caused me to laugh. “What’s there to admit? As you and everyone else said, the blast wasn’t survivable.”

The building had been reduced to little more than rubble and ash, several blocks of the city streets covered in soot and gore. There were still several bodies who’d yet to be positively identified. The fire had burned so hot adjacent buildings had received significant damage. Even the waterlines underneath the pavement would need to be replaced.

The only useful information about the persons responsible had been from a surveillance camera across the street. Three men in dark clothing and masks had entered the restaurant after two in the morning and were assumed to have placed the explosives. I found it ironic that the same camera hadn’t been working the next day. And no one had seen anything suspicious on the day of the event.

I could still hear the dull roar as the building had blown up from the number of explosives used. The fire had burned so hot every appliance had melted.

Seconds later, I felt his presence behind me. “You won’t be able to recognize them. There’s nothing… Don’t do this to yourself. Going inside is only going to destroy what’s left of you. Do you really want to remember Isabel and Mina that way or the last time you saw them?”

I didn’t give a shit if he had a good point; I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I wasn’t certain. With a tip of my head, I did my best to control the anger in my voice. “I need to do this for me, Roman. Until I do, there will always be a question in my mind. Can’t you understand that?”

He didn’t respond right away. “Yes, I guess I do, but here’s the thing, you’re my brother and I care about you. Even if you are a pain in the ass.”

In the two days since the fire, I’d been in a daze, told I was in shock. My ears were still ringing from what the doctors called acoustic trauma. “Thanks. I am trying my best.”

“Yeah, I can tell. Have you had any sleep?”

I laughed again, hearing and accepting the bitterness. “Have the people who did this been found?”

“Come on, Max. You know better than that. No one has taken responsibility and other than confirming several explosive devices were used, there’s nothing concrete.”

“Something needs to be found! I will have my revenge!”

The whooshing of the door leading into the inner sanctum of the morgue caught our attention. I snapped my head toward a man wearing scrubs. He was instantly on edge, fear highlighted in his eyes. “Mr. Aristov.”

“Yes,” I growled.

“I’m Dr. Caspian. I was told you were coming. Are you certain you want to do this?”

“I’m certain.”

The doctor glanced at Roman. What the fuck was he doing? Looking to see if my caretaker agreed?

“Just do it,” Roman said more quietly.