Page 63 of When Elizabeth Said Yes

"I…"

She faltered for a moment, then nodded to herself, it seemed, and then said, "I have to tell you before we marry… I did not accept your proposal for the right reasons."

"Oh," was all Darcy could say as he waited for further explanation.

She blinked rapidly, and then continued. "When you asked me to marry you and I said yes, I was not thinking of love. I was thinking of security for my family, good marriages for my sisters, a home for my mother… And I thought you were thinking the same," she rushed out. "I thought you were offering marriage because you knew the dire situation I was in. But then…"

She fiddled with the button on his coat while he felt like his heart was breaking.

So she did not love him all this time? He’d thought the feeling was mutual, and yet apparently it was not. She had agreed to marry him for his money, for his position, nothing more.

"When I realised you felt something more, I didn't know what to say. And I didn't want to offend you, but neither did I wish to lie."

She did not seem to know where to look. Darcy stood stonily still, listening, taking it all in, not having any words of his own to say just yet.

She did not love him.

"I'm sorry," she said in a whisper. "I truly thought it was a marriage based on respect, yes, but not love. And I could not go to the altar without you knowing that," she said.

For a moment, silence filled the air around them.

She was waiting for a response, it seemed, and he needed to find one.

He’d thought she loved him. She had been reserved, yes, and clearly angry about the situation with Jane. But he had fixed that, and he had thought she was in love with him, and he had been wrong.

They were to marry in a matter of hours, and she was telling him this now.

And yet his words still stood. There was nothing that could make him not want to marry her.

The only way he would call this marriage off was if she did not wish to go ahead with it.

Because he knew in his heart that she was the woman he was meant to be with, and even if it took her a little longer to realise it…

"Do you still wish to marry me?" he asked, and she immediately nodded.

Well, that was something.

"And is it still only for the benefit it would bring your mother and sisters?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer, but finding himself compelled to ask the question anyway.

She hesitated for a moment and then shook her head.

"No," she said in a whisper. "Those are not the only reasons any more."

"Very well," he said. "Then I suggest we both get back to our beds. We have a very important day tomorrow."

◆◆◆

Elizabeth was stunned.

She had seen the shock on his face at her admission, and she was embarrassed at her own mercenary motivations for accepting his proposal. The only thing she could say in her defence was that she had believed they were both going into this knowing that he needed a wife and that she needed saving.

But of course they did not both know that, and there lay the problem.

And yet, apparently, he still wanted to marry her.

She swallowed. She was not going to argue with him, because she wanted to marry him, too.

And he knew now. There were no lies, no secrets. He knew he wanted to marry her and she wanted to marry him.