Page 56 of When Elizabeth Said Yes

When Elizabeth awoke the next day, she felt hot and bothered and flustered about her upcoming wedding, about kissing Mr Darcy, about not kissing Mr Darcy, about the change in their relationship once they were married, about the fact that they were never left alone, had barely even touched one another, and yet, once they were wed, all things would be permitted.

It really was a most confusing state to be in, let alone the fact that she had thought she was marrying him for practicality’s sake.

And yet she was starting to question that.

Once they’d had breakfast, Elizabeth decided to go for a walk. She needed to clear her head, and a long walk was just the thing, even though the sky threatened rain.

"Would you like some company?" Jane asked.

But Lizzy shook her head. "Thank you, but I think I would just like some time alone, if that’s all right."

Jane nodded and returned to her needlework. She was not a great fan of walking like Lizzy anyway, so Lizzy doubted it was a hardship.

Lizzy loved her sister very much and she wanted to talk to her, for them to share all their secrets. But she did not think she could hear of her sister’s kiss again without wondering why she and Darcy had not shared one and whether it meant something.

She exited their garden and walked along the path that led to Meryton before turning off up into the fields, not wishing to run into anyone.

She loved to be out in nature, and she felt she could breathe again, being out in the fresh air, pushing her body to walk up the hill until her legs ached.

It seemed that Jane would marry Bingley. That was an excellent outcome, and she was sure her sister would be very happy.

She hoped he proposed soon, so there was no doubt as to his intentions. Because although Darcy had clearly deterred his friend from the match, Elizabeth could not help but feel that it had been a little weak of him to just give in like that. If he did truly love Jane, then why had he allowed himself to be so dissuaded?

And would he allow himself to be again? Not by Darcy, she did not think, but by his sisters, certainly, for they were not keen on the match, nor keen on the Bennets, from what Elizabeth could see.

◆◆◆

Darcy had spent the morning speaking with his sister, reassuring her once more that he would keep the man away if he did return to the area.

Had Bingley not told his sister of the incident between Wickham and Georgiana?

Possibly not, for Darcy had asked for it to be kept secret. But Caroline Bingley certainly knew of the bad blood between Darcy and Wickham, and the fact that Wickham had tried repeatedly to extort more money out of his father’s estate. So surely her only reason to bring his name up could be to cause trouble.

Such behaviour irritated Darcy, and when she came to sit in the drawing room, he found he could not make polite conversation with her.

"I’m going to go for a walk," Darcy announced, standing from the armchair he had been occupying at the corner of the room. "I shan’t be too long."

"I think it might rain, Darcy," Bingley said, glancing out of the window, where indeed ominous clouds had been gathering for most of the morning.

"Then I suppose I shall get wet," Darcy said. "Do not fear. I do not think I will melt away."

And with that, he stalked from the room, collecting his coat and top hat before making his way down the path and out of the Netherfield estate.

He was keen to clear his head. The mention of Wickham had brought up bad memories, not only of his childhood and the friend he thought he could trust, who then turned on him as soon as the inheritance was available, but also of the previous autumn, when Wickham had managed to visit Georgiana, while she was staying with her companion, and had very nearly eloped with her.

Why, it was unbearable to think of what might have happened, of what he would have done if they had managed to get away, of how his sister would have realised that Wickham only wanted her dowry, and perhaps to exact some sort of imagined revenge upon Darcy.

Of how his poor sister would be trapped in a marriage without love because she had been taken in by a man such as Wickham.

And who could blame her, really? Older and wiser women had surely been taken in by such men time and time again.

But he had not been able to protect her. And he should have been able to.

He should have known her companion was not to be trusted. He should have known what Wickham might do. He could not forgive himself for having nearly been unable to stop the ruin of his sister.

And so the mention of such a man put him in a foul mood indeed. And to have his name tied with the woman that he loved, well, that did not improve matters.

Even if it was only said to annoy him, even if nothing had come of it, it was still an image he did not desire to have.