Page 84 of Mindeater

“Cut with the shit. Tell me what I want to know.”

“Make me,” he coos, batting his long, golden lashes.

I want to say something. Anything at all. But I’m paralyzed with jealousy so severe I can hardly see straight.

It’s stupid to feel this way when Levi can peer in at any time, but I can’t help it. That man should have been me. Ryx doesn’t know how I fantasized about having my first heat with him. How I dreamed of the day he’d kiss me the way I’d seen other people get kissed. All childish hope and innocent love, but it was real. Even if I’d been allowed to start a romance, I never wanted to.

My heart chose him long ago.

As if all of that isn’t bad enough, the man he chose instead of me has outmatched me in every way. I’m the fucking Maven. No one should be able to one-up me like this.

Matthias did, an insidious voice whispers.

When Ryx clenches his fists, not falling for the brat antics, Levi sighs. “Fine. How about a trade? I’ll tell you everything I know about the state of your…family, if you give me ten vials of your blood.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Ryx says through a bitter laugh.

“Why do you want his blood?” I finally find my voice.

They both look at me. Ryx’s eyes beg me to shut up, while Levi’s sparkle with mischief. “That’s how the serum is made,” Levi explains, grinning. “The very same he used to strip you of your mastery.”

“Saren, I—”

“You put your blood in me?” I demand, inching away from him. “That poison is made from your blood?”

The implications alone are horrifying enough. But knowing that I’ve had a part of him injected into me multiple times sends a chill down my spine. Is that why I’m so weak? Why my cravings are so much worse? For all I know, that’s why I can’t fight off Levi’s influence!

“He also tortured you. Beat you. Scarred you for life,” Levi offers unhelpfully, and I can’t resist retaliating.

My heart hurts.

For the first time ever, Ryx looks genuinely ashamed. Somehow, that only adds to my fury. I never meant to hurt him. I loved him with all my heart and begged for forgiveness. Everything I did was always in his best interest. The same can’t be said about him.

Ryx wanted to hurt me.

Ryx wanted to put me in harm’s way.

He never wanted me, even back when I thought we were friends.

I was always expendable.

A tool to manipulate for an undisclosed future purpose.

He was never my friend at all.

I fell in love with my enemy.

A distinct prodding pulses inside my skull, but I squash it like a roach under my heel. I am the Maven. The strongest Telex New Grove has ever seen.

I am a vault. And I’m never letting anyone get inside again.

My mastery bursts from my skin in a blast of violet energy. The walls crumble, the tables splinter—I scream until my vocal cords fry. Levi is propelled through a massive hole in the wall.

I latch onto the first person I can find and eat every thought they have.

But it’s not enough to quench my bloodlust. I barely register the tears streaming down my cheeks. Matthias drilled control into me, but right now all I feel is chaos. Every horrible thing I’ve endured surfaces. Patryn’s death, Ryx’s rejection, the cage, the beatings, grooming, and assault.

I lose count of who I kill, what I destroy, and how violently I tremble. Maybe a part of me has checked out entirely, crawling into the safety of my mind. If I don’t look, I won’t hate what I’ve done. If my eyes are closed tight, it’s not real, and I’m not a monster. There’s screaming, gunfire, that constant prod against my mental shield. They want in, but I won't let them. Never again.