Page 113 of The Reluctant Alpha

Phoenix's jaw tightened. "Your pack? You've been happy enough to let me handle everything until now."

"Because you've never given me the space to be an alpha here!" Bayer's fist slammed onto the table, making us all jump. "I've been treated like a guest at best, convenient muscle at worst. Manning the gates, patrolling the borders—all while living in your house, under your rules, then immediately tossed out when it isn’t convenient."

"That's not fair," Phoenix started, but Bayer cut him off.

"Isn't it? Where's my home, Phoenix? You appointed me as Em's bodyguard, then the second he's in heat, I'm in the way and back in the gamma houses. My bears are scattered across your land like afterthoughts. Torrel saw it immediately—I'm an alpha in name only here."

The accusation hung in the air between them. I'd never seen Bayer like this, vibrating with barely contained fury, his bear close to the surface. And for them to fight was the last thing I wanted.

"You chose—" Phoenix began.

"Danny is the only thing I've ever chosen in my goddam life," Bayer thundered. "Everything else has always been someone else's decision. What I do. Where I go. Where I sleep. Danny's mine."

In a flash of insight, I knew what this was about. Yeah, Torrel had demeaned him. Bayer didn't have a proper role, but it was me. Phoenix had ordered me about like he had the right, and it had pushed Bayer too far. This was as much my fault as Phoenix's. Every conversation we'd had, I pulled the rug out from under him. He had zero confidence in our mating.

Emery stepped forward, his face pale. "Bayer, that's not what—"

"It's exactly what it is," Bayer insisted. "I'm grateful. You know I am." He turned to me, his eyes softening slightly. "But we need to talk and make the best decision for us. And I can't keep pretending I'm content with this arrangement."

Phoenix stood very still, his expression unreadable. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying it's time my pack had its own territory. Its own home." Bayer's voice was steady now, resolved. "I'm saying I need to be a real alpha, not just a pretend one."

No one spoke immediately. I looked between them, these two powerful men who had become the center of my world, and felt my heart breaking at the pain in both their faces. I'd caused this. I took and I took without giving back. If he had belief in us, then this wouldn't be happening.

"I need some air," I announced, struggling to my feet. "And before anyone objects, I'm going to our room, not fleeing to Mexico."

Bayer followed me without a word. Once our door closed behind us, I sank onto the edge of the bed, suddenly exhausted. “I didn’t mean—” But Bayer’s finger closed over my lips.

“I was unfair back there. They left the house for your heat, and they’ve been nothing but supportive. Phoenix saved my life. He came for me when my dad locked me in a cage.”

I wanted to cry, but Bayer needed me to be strong. “But you want more than gate duty,” I said.

Bayer nodded. “But I don’t know exactly what. It seems we just lurch from one crisis to another.”

"I wasn’t trying to be difficult," I said quietly, staring at my hands. "We should have talked about this together. I'm a shitty mate."

Bayer sat beside me, careful not to jostle the mattress. "No, what happened out there wasn’t your fault. You were being reasonable and I was just being insecure.”

His thumb brushed my cheek and I leaned into it.

“The thought of something happening to you..." His voice cracked slightly.

I looked at him, really looked, and saw the fear he was trying so hard to hide. "Hey," I said softly, reaching for his hand. "I loved you sticking up for me.”

Bayer was quiet for a moment, his thumb tracing patterns on my palm. "You know we need to talk about the bears, the pack. I’m sorry to just dump all that on you."

I waited. This time I needed to listen. "Tell me, Alpha," I whispered. I wasn't sure if Bayer realized what I'd called him, but he plucked me from the bed and sat me on his lap, then nuzzled my neck.

"The pack's been patient, but they won't wait forever. It was easier while we were facing the revenant threat, but now they’re going to want to know if I’m rebuilding the pack and our territory as Alpha or if I’m staying here." Bayer's jaw tightened. "And honestly, I don't know what I want to do." He glanced up. “I need to know what you want. The territory is over an hour away, and if you’re running the pack school, that’s a long way to travel. Then there’s Torrel.”

"What does your gut tell you?" Because I trusted his instincts even when I didn’t trust mine.

"About Torrel? That I don't completely trust him," Bayer said immediately. "But I also don't know if that's instinct or insecurity talking."

I shifted to face him more fully. "Okay, let's think about this practically. I’m sure you said the territory was overhunted or something?"

Bayer looked pleased that I’d clearly listened to him. “True. And the pack area needs a lot of work before we move in. The whole place needs an overhaul.”