Page 21 of Once Upon a Reckless Rogue

Luckily, she knew a few ways to ensure she did not get with child. She had found out about the wild carrot seeds by chance off a puta in the next village that she had attended to a year or so ago. It was not something her father would likely have told her. Knowledge was important no matter who it came from. For that purpose, she had grown Queen Anne’s lace flowers and collected their seeds, knowing she might help another or even herself in the future.

The more they walked, the hotter it got. She could see that Tomas was slowing down as he and the donkey made slow progress on the road. She quickened her pace to catch up to him.

“We should stop. The heat is not good for…the donkey.” She knew she had done the right thing when she saw the look of relief on his face. They stopped under the shade of a tree and Tomas poured some water into the bucket for the donkey before handing it to her. She took a large swig from the canteen and passed it back to him. He stifled a groan when he lowered himself down under the tree.

“Rest now; it is nearly siesta anyway. Is there anything you need me to look at?”

He smiled at her and patted the place next to him. She sat. He pulled her closer, despite the heat. “Maybe it is I who need to look at you.” He brushed a damp tendril of her hair behind her ear. “You have been so quiet since we left. If you want to go back, you should say now.”

Where did this come from? “No! I told you…” She scooted away from him.

His tone was calm. “I know what you told me but sometimes we say things that we do not mean in the heat of the moment.”

“Do you?”

“Sometimes,” he replied.

“What did you not mean?” She crossed her arms over her chest. She could feel her temperature rising.

Tomas remained sitting. “What I am trying to say is that it is all right if you have changed your mind.”

She was sure her mouth had fallen open. “Why would I do that?”

He blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know, Elena. Maybe leaving was harder than you thought. Maybe the reality of this journey is causing you to rethink your decision.”

Scrambling to her feet, she planted her hands on her hips. “Are you?”

Tomas kept her gaze. “This isn’t about me. It is about you. I have to go, but you do not.”

“Don’t you want me to come with you?” she paced in front of him. “Have you changed your mind?”

He ran a hand down his face. “Jesus, Elena. You are the most frustrating woman.”

“Tell me.”

“I have not changed my mind.”

She could feel herself beginning to panic. Did he truly not want her to travel with him? “I told you that I was happy to leave.”

“No, you didn’t. You said there was nothing to stay for, but you do have reasons to stay. You have friends there. Christina would take you in. You could rebuild the house, keep serving the village as a doctor.”

She shook her head. “No, no, no. I can’t. You said you would not go without me and now you want me to go back? I will not. I will not go without you!”

Tomas’s tone was quiet, placating. “I don’t want you to go back, but I don’t want to keep you here with me when it is not what you really want, either.”

Elena grabbed his face so that she could see deep into his eyes. “I want to be here with you. I want to take this journey. I do not want to go back. Finito.” Then she kissed him and walked away.

She needed to give herself some space, and she needed to breathe. He was the most annoying man she had ever met. Tomas meant well, she supposed, but why must she tell him over and over? Elena hoped he would not argue with her every day of this journey, or she might need to drug him again just to survive it.

The truth was that part of her did want to go back. Back where it was comfortable, safe, predictable. The other part of her refused to go back and pretend that she had not just gone through the most traumatic experience of her life. How could she simply pick up where she had left off? Her house was no more, and her family was gone. She had not lied when she said there was nothing for her there anymore.

*

That went well. He had only meant to reassure her that if she wanted to, she could go back. Elena was one beautifully stubborn woman. He did not know any other woman who would have finished an argument with a kiss. Not that he was complaining because, honestly, he was expecting her to slap him. In any case, he had his answer. He could now stop worrying that she pitied him and that was the only reason she was with him.

He thought about following her, but his legs were aching. Obviously, walking around a room did not compare to walking in the heat with someone else’s shoes on. When they make the next village, he will need something to stuff his shoes with. Old newspaper, maybe. If he had money, he would have bought a new pair of sturdy boots, but he had nothing and he was not going to ask Elena to get him some with her meagre coins. He briefly thought about the fact that one of those damned Frenchies was walking about in his Hoby high-top boots. It’s not like he had never worn another man’s clothes. Sometimes it was necessary to dress down, and he’d never met a man who had said no to swapping a well-made jacket for their own.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and a firm shake of the shoulder woke him. Elena kneeled in front of him. He smiled—he had to—the sun was behind her and made it look like she had a halo. His angel.