Page 98 of Badd B*tch

"Tea?" I asked, voice pitched low but not whispering. "What's up?"

"It's gonna sound stupid."

"Try me."

"I've never slept with a guy before. Like, just slept."

"Never?"

One shoulder elevated ever so slightly. "There was that one weekend in Berlin with Luke, but…"

"You didn't do much sleeping," I said, guessing at the rest.

"No." A pause. "Sorry."

"For?"

"Always talking about him. Especially…that. When we haven't…"

I had the whole width of a queen bed between us, so reaching out and yanking her down to me wasn't an option, which is what I wanted to do. Instead, I opted for the psychological version.

I made a big show of working myself upright slowly and with great difficulty, with a lot of not-faked groans. It wasn't a lie; it was just… slightly exaggerated.

"Stay, stay," she said in a rush. "I'm coming. I just…I don't know if I'll be able to relax. I'll feel weird."

She shuffled up against the bed, quads to the edge of the mattress, fingers fluttering at the hem of her sweatshirt as if she wanted to take it off but wasn't sure if she should. "Fuck me, this is so pathetic," she muttered.

She crawled onto the bed, flipped onto her back at the farthest edge of the bed, and literally crossed her arms over her chest like Dracula in his coffin.

I stared at her with my head rolled to the side, amused. "Tea? Babe?"

"What, Jax?" Her voice was tense, her body taut as piano wire.

“Whatcha doin'?"

She shrugged, eyes widening. "I dunno. Laying here?"

"You're all the way the fuck over there in Timbuktu," I said.

A slight sigh. "I don't know how to…be."

"Just…" I extended my arm toward her. "Come over here. Let me hold you. That's it, okay? I know you feel weird about this being my parents' house and all that. It's all good. No pressure. Nothing is happening but sleep."

"It's not that. Or not just that."

"Then what?"

She eyed my arm like it might be a venomous snake in disguise. She exhaled, and then carefully shifted over inch by inch until her head was on my bicep, a good eight or so inches between our bodies.

"Almost," I said. "Just a little more."

“I know I'm being weird. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing for everything. Just be yourself, Tea. Let it all hang out. Good, bad, weird, and everything else."

"Don't know how."

"Start by telling me what you're scared of."