Page 60 of Badd B*tch

"Not gonna assume anything. I need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what you want." I grinned up at her. "And I need to hear it directly from you."

"Can I show you, instead?" she said, her voice

“Absolutely."

She grasped my wrists and guided them upward. "I want…" She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a quick, sharp huff. "I want to be touched. I want to feel good." Her eyes flicked open. "I want…I want it to be you—your touch. I want you to touch me."

I skimmed my hands up until I encountered the wide elastic band of a high-compression sports bra. "There you go. Good girl.

Fury filled her gaze, and she shoved me down into the earth, hard, as double emphasis. "Do not fucking patronize me, Jax Badd."

"I'm not,” I said, capturing her wrists. “I would never mock you, make fun of you, or patronize you.”

"Don't 'good girl' me, then,” she snapped, still pissed. “I’m not a fucking dog."

"Not into being praised, then. Got it."

Her eyes slid closed, and the offended anger drained away like a wave over beach sand. "Jax, I…shit." A shake of her head. "That was extreme and uncalled for, and I apologize. I’m sorry.”

"No, I’m sorry, Tea. I mean it for real. I know that wasn’t easy for you, and I was being honest. I wasn’t trying to treat you like a dog or patronize you.”

"None of this is easy, Jax. I haven't had physical contact with another human other than a few hugs with my sister in over a year and a half. My sexuality is…atrophied. Just know that I'm trying. I promise I am."

"I know you are,” I said, pulling my hands out of her shirt to cup her face. "I know, Tea. I don't take that for granted. Nothing about this am I taking for granted. I couldn't feel any more privileged than to be here, with you, getting to…to know you, this way. You're so fucking sexy, Tea. So beautiful. So strong. Brave. Talented. Intimidating. Badass. I’m lucky as fuck."

She shook her head. "God, Jax. You're too damn sweet." She stared down at me, and I saw her make a decision. "You make me feel beautiful." She grabbed the hem of her tee and paused. "And brave."

My breath lodged in my throat, a hot lump. My heart hammered.

She kept her eyes on mine as she peeled the shirt up and off, setting it aside. At first, she self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest, and then, with the decision visible in her expression, dropped them. Her bra was black, with a high neckline and a wide lower band, tightly compressing her breasts. Her abs were a rippled expanse below the bra, rock hard and sharply defined.

She searched my face, nakedly curious. "Say something."

"Fuck."

She snorted. "A bit more, maybe."

I grinned, letting myself blatantly ogle the bulge of her breasts inside the bra, the sharp poke of her nipples. "Okay, then." I lifted my chin at her. "A bit more, maybe."

Her fingers slid slowly up her thighs, paused at her hips. She crossed her arms in front of herself, hooked her fingers under the band, paused again. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she inhaled slowly, swelling her chest, held her breath….

And deflated, shaking her head, hands dropping to her thighs again. "I can't."

"That's okay," I whispered, cupping both of her hands in mine and lifting them to my mouth, kissing her knuckles.

Her eyes met mine. "I said I can't," she whispered. "I didn't say you couldn't."

"We aren't in a hurry," I told her. "We have all the time in the world."

"Jax. Stop cock-blocking yourself, dude. My god. I appreciate the respect and consideration more than you could ever know; truly, I do. But I want this. I'm just struggling with myself. I'm—I refuse to let fear and insecurity win. My holdup is not with you; it’s myself."

"So fucking strong and brave."

She leaned in, cupped my face, locked eyes with me for a moment or two, and then her lips slanted over mine. I felt her breath, and then she was kissing me, closed-mouth at first, just lips on lips.

It wasn't enough. Nowhere near enough. I clutched her waist and pulled her close, arched to lift up, to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips and teased my tongue along the seam of her mouth, and was rewarded with a soft, quiet gasp as her mouth opened. She gave me her tongue, then melted into me as we kissed.

I let my desire for her bubble up from deep within, lifting the floodgates of my need, just a little. I carved my hands around her back, scoured the warm curve of her spine, and explored the backs of her shoulders. She returned the heat of my kiss with a low moan, pushing into me, melting into my kiss, her mouth softening, opening. The tension in her thighs dissipated, and she rocked against me as I tilted my hips in a quasi-unconscious gesture of need.