Page 12 of Badd B*tch

"Hmm?"

"The zipper."

“Oh. Sorry." She took the wheel with both hands again, and glanced at me in the mirror.

I smiled at her.

She didn't smile back.

The drive to the heliport was long and boring, and I spent it mindlessly scrolling TikTok and IG until I wanted to rip my eyeballs out, at which point I shoved my phone into my pocket and just stared out the window at the passing scenery.

I kept feeling Tea's eyes on me, although every time I looked at the mirror, her eyes were forward on the road.

I can't help hoping she liked what she saw. I'm not an expert on women, clearly, looking at my track record, but I kinda feel like she did, considering her wide eyes and stammering when I caught her staring. Which would make her current nail-spitting mood a product of embarrassment, most likely. I can't be sure, though; maybe she's just moody.

I just don't know, and I don’t dare even ask—I’m worried Tea would just…I dunno…yeet me out of the helicopter when I'm not looking.

My phone chimed.

Linus:

Still working on getting past that carapace, are you?

Me:

Starting to think the only way in is a diamond-bit drill.

Linus:

LOL, you're not wrong. She's…tough.

Me:

My uncles are tough. She's something else entirely. Such as a brick wall. With spikes.

Linus:

My wife was like that. We were from totally different worlds, and she was just hard as nails and tough as iron. She could stare down Medusa.

Me:

How'd you win her over?

Linus:

Consistent kindness and patience. She came from a seriously fucked up background and then was a SWAT officer, one of very, very few women to even attempt, let alone pass, the test in any city in the country.

Me:

Damn

Linus:

Yeah. She was the most incredible human being I've ever known. But my point is there's no trick, kid. She just needs to see that you're real. That you're consistently you, and that the you you're showing her is someone she wants to be around and can trust. For hardasses like Tea, trust is a rare thing, and it's the key to everything.

Before I could even figure out if I was going to ask, let alone how to do so tactfully, he beat me to it with an answer.

Linus: