Page 85 of Off the Edge

“My only failure is not walking away from you before now.”

“Why does Navarro have such a hold over you?”

“Because I love him, Father. I love him. Is love so hard a thing for you to understand?”

He laughed. “You do not love a man.”

“No? Well, I spent all of last night fucking him and it definitely felt like love, so perhaps don’t tell me who I do and don’t love.”

He looked away. “You are a hateful man, speaking to me in such a manner.”

“You are the hateful person. If you were a decent father, a caring father, none of this would have happened. All I ever wanted was for you to see me for who I am.”

“Who you are is a disgrace!”

I lifted my chin. Why was I arguing with him? Nothing I said made any difference. I couldn’t change him, and he couldn’t change me, and that was how things would forever be between us. I’d only now just realized it.

I sighed, and all the fight went out of me. I really was finished. It was over. I couldn’t dance knowing what he’d done, couldn’t face anyone here—my teammates, fellow athletes—and I couldn’t stand to see Camden’s heart broken by my own father’s terrible actions. If Cam was done, then so was I.

I turned away.

“Ren? If you walk away, you will not win gold.”

“I wanted to win the gold for you,” I said without looking back. “That no longer applies.”

I opened the door, walked down the corridor.

“Ren, wait . . .”

At the briefing room, I was met by silent faces. They may have heard some or all of the argument. The walls here were thin. “Tamsyn, please may I speak with you?”

She stood and came out of the room just as my father caught up with me.

“Ren, stop. I see you’re upset, but all you need to do is get through the next few days⁠—”

“Sir,” Tamsyn said. “I don’t think Ren wants you here.”

“This is a private matter, young lady.”

“It may have been, but most of the room just heard half of it, so . . . I think you should probably take a moment to rethink what you want to get from your stay here with the GB team.”

I walked with Tamsyn back to the room, leaving my father standing in the corridor. If he followed, I would unleash on him again in public, and I doubted he’d want that.

He didn’t follow.

Inside, Tamsyn placed her hands on her hips.

I closed the door with the same click from earlier. This was going to be difficult. “How much did you hear?”

“Not much, actually. A lot of shouting. I just told him we heard to get rid of him. What’s going on, Ren?”

How could I tell her any part of this without telling her all of it? Months, we’d spent on our program. Hours, days, and weeks of work. I pulled a hand down my face.

“Ren? Talk to me.”

“You should sit.”

She looked at the plain plastic chair by the empty table. “Is it that bad?”