Page 5 of Off the Edge

“That’s to be expected.”

My gaze shifted to her framed photographs on the wall. Pictures of her with Team GB, some decades ago now. An ex-Olympic skater herself, an injury took her out early, but she’d stayed connected to the team. Her role as welfare manager was a new one, for her and the team. Athletes often crashed and burned under pressure. Thankfully, I was not a candidate for that, but we all still had to attend as part of the training.

“What’s been the most challenging aspect of your week?” Gabby asked brightly.

Seeing Camden again. But I couldn’t tell her why seeing Camden had hit me so hard. Nobody could know I’d had an illicit affair with my Meridian Cup partner. It would be the end of my career. Figure skating claimed to be LGBTQ+ friendly, but same sex couples were still banned, and I had my doubts the judges were entirely that forward thinking. Then there was my father . . .

“Nothing really,” I said. “It’s all been fine.”

“Nothing?” She smiled, not believing me.

This would be over quicker if I gave her something to pick apart while here. “There is the pressure of the approaching move to Japan, and the games of course. My father is . . . He has high expectations.”

“I’m glad you brought him up. I had a call from Mr. Hasegawa in fact.” She paused and held my gaze. “I may not have been sitting in this welfare chair all that long, but I wasn’t expecting a call from your father, if I’m honest.”

I clenched my teeth. That sounded like him. “He likes to be involved.”

“He does, doesn’t he.” She said it lightly, but I was sensing some judgment in her tone. “Is that an added pressure for you? Performing for him as well as the team and the federation?”

“I’m fine with pressure.”

“In terms of working while under pressure, I know you are. But what about outside of work?”

I blinked and held her gaze. “How do you mean?”

“Your time away from work?”

“I don’t have time away from work.”

“Until recently you went home to London every week⁠—”

“I also trained in London.”

“Under your father?”

“Yes.”

“And how was that?”

“Fine.”

She paused, waiting for me to elaborate, and when I didn’t, she said, “Goro Hasegawa is harder on you than he ever was on himself.”

“You know him?” I glanced again at the photos. She was of his age. They’d likely competed at the same time.

“I knew him, which is probably why he called me. He is a very exacting man.”

“His standards are high, yes.”

“How does that make you feel, Ren?”

“I don’t understand the question. He’s my father, so . . .”

Her smile appeared sympathetic, but I had no idea why it should. “Ren, firstly, I want you to know I didn’t tell Goro anything about you or these sessions. Just that they’re a formality and all skaters have them. Secondly, I’m going to ask you a question and I’d like for you to answer honestly, if you can. Do you believe your father had a controlling influence over your selection on Team GB?”

My heart kicked. “Are you implying he did?”

Her smile seemed warm and honest. “Not at all. I want your feelings on the matter. Your father came out of retirement to consult, and he’s at your side during almost every competition of late. He’s clearly an important part of your training, but until the Meridian Cup and your success there, your relationship was strained, am I correct? Having him back in your life so suddenly after such a long separation must be difficult.”