Page 6 of Falling for the Grumpiest Protector

"Maddy."

Something in her voice stops me.

"Lily is gone."

I don't move.

"She's gone, Maddy."

For one second, I don't understand. I don't want to understand. Because if I understand, then I accept it. And I don't. I can't.

"Maddy, you need to come home. Just come home."

I feel sick. I can't breathe. And all at once, Lily's life flashes through mine. We're eight, whispering beneath the covers. Sixteen, sitting on the hood of her first car. Twenty-two, Lily crying when I leave Oakridge for New York. She's holding Noah. She's laughing. She's calling me Mad. And now nothing.

I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I turn. Julian is right there. Tears blur my vision before I can say his name. He looks at me, and he knows. I put my hand over my mouth, but the cry comes anyway. A sound I don't recognize as mine. I try to take a step. I can't. Julian crosses the distance and puts his arms around me. I fold against him.

"I know, Maddy," he says quietly. "I know. I'm here."

And all I can do is cry.

My sister.

My twin.

My Lily.

Is gone.

What else is there to say?

Chapter Two

Madison

By late afternoon, my mother's house is still full of people, though some have already left. There are half-finished coffee cups, untouched slices of cake, enough casseroles to feed Oakridge for a week, and more flowers than Lily would ever have tolerated.

Especially the lilies. She would have complained about the lack of imagination.

More people are beginning to leave. Slowly. Very slowly. Every departure comes with another hug, another I'm so sorry, another story about my sister. And another look at me. Most people try not to stare. Most people fail. I understand why. That doesn't mean I like it.

My phone vibrates in my hand. Julian. I glance toward Mom, who is accepting another covered dish from someone whose name I should probably remember, then slip into the hallway.

"Hey."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Maddy."

I lean against the wall and close my eyes.

"I hate when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Know I'm lying from one word."