Page 84 of Emerson

He just looks down at her, chewing on his bottom lip. He makes a small noise but covers it with a clearing of his throat and lifts a hand that looks like it’s trembling to tuck the blanket around her face.

“Is she supposed to be this small?” he asks quietly, grazing a finger over her cheek.

“She’s literally days old, man,” Warren laughs, and then he looks at me.

I flex my jaw and force a smile on my face, tucking my hands in my pockets.

Emery starts rocking again, gently this time. “She has your nose.”

He doesn’t look at me, but I know he’s talking to me. Any response I could have is locked up in the pressure in my chest.

The moment hangs quietly until Warren finally breaks the silence.

“How was the move, Sabrina?”

Emery shoots his head up and looks around. There is a pile of boxes still stacked in the corner, but I managed to get most of her stuff put away.

“Like moved in, moved in?” Emery asks no one in particular.

“Yeah, I know, we kind of waited until the last minute,” Sabrina laughs, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“I would have thought you didn’t wait enough minutes. You’ve barely been together for more than a few months?” Emery’s voice is quiet but disbelieving.

“My lease was up so we figured, why not? You know?” Sabrina shrugs, and my stomach tightens.

Emery swings his eyes over to me, and it’s like a punch to the stomach to see them.

“Yeah, why not?” he forces a laugh and stands, carefully keeping my daughter tucked against his chest. He pauses in front of me before holding her out.

“Congratulations, Dillon. I just remembered I have somewhere I have to be.”

Zane and Ian come back in when the door closes.

“Where is he going?” Zane asks, walking over to me and taking Penny from my arms.

I have to look at Sabrina. At the boxes and my daughter so I don’t run out the door to stop him.

To: EBStyles

From: DMont95

Subject: I’m a mess

Hey. Do you even read these? I don’t know. It just feels good to send them, I guess. I know it’s only four months, but not being around for Penny is stressing me the fuck out. What will she think when I’m not there? When she doesn’t get to come over? I don’t even think my dad disappeared for four straight months. Lol

Listen, I know that I have Penny tonight, but I’m not ready to be without you, either, Em. Fuck. I miss you all the time, you know? All the fucking time. I wasn’t ready for last night to be it. So, I guess what I’m trying to ask is… would you break your rule? Just for today? Not for sex. Just… I just want the chance to be near you for a while. If you’ll let me.

If not… well, I’ll see you around. Four months, and we talk.

Bye, baby.

“Dada bye?” Penny asks around the fingers in her mouth. She's asked no less than twenty times since Sabrina dropped her off, and each time it's like a blade cutting me wide open.

Four months for adults isn't very long, but four months for a toddler? Four months will mean more words she knows how to say. More of a run instead of a waddle. Tantrums I can't solve, booboos I won't be around to kiss better. Four months of me not being able to tuck her in at night and be woken up by her early as fuck in the morning.

Four months sounds like it may as well be forever.

“Just for a little while, baby. But remember that you can call me on mommy's phone any time. Okay?”