Page 27 of Epidermis

“M’hot,” Jasper said.

There was a silence nearly long enough for Jasper to fall asleep, and then Konrad asked, “Would you like me to help you undress?”

“Please.” Jasper didn’t think he could even unbutton his shirt by himself, but fuck him sideways, he was burning up. He felt Konrad’s fingers working his buttons open and swallowed. Jasper respected that Konrad didn’t want to do anything, and he didn’t think he could get fully hard if he tried, but he couldn’t help the way he responded to Konrad’s fingers skimming over his bare chest as he pushed his shirt open. He clumsily lifted up enough for Konrad to pull it down his arms and sighed when he lay back down, feeling the blanket against his bare back.

“Your pants as well?” Konrad asked.

Jasper was glad the curtains were drawn over the wall of windows and the room was pitch black. He knew his face was bright red as he whispered, “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.”

Jasper swallowed back a sound as Konrad unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. He didn’t know what shape the sound would have taken, only that it wasn’t appropriate. He raised his hips and Konrad worked his pants down his legs. Even the light graze of fingertips against his ankle was electric. He wanted more, craved for Konrad to touch him everywhere, but he would settle for just being touched somewhere. Drinking relaxed him but he also felt achingly vulnerable.

He reached out until he found Konrad, hesitating with the sleeve of Konrad’s sleep shirt clutched between his fingers.

Jasper gave it such a small tug that he wasn’t sure if Konrad would feel it.

Then he was being drawn in, his head pulled onto Konrad’s chest, and Jasper shuddered. He pushed his legs between Konrad’s and wrapped his arm around Konrad’s waist.

Konrad’s touch against his bare skin was incredibly foreign, but Jasper would like to become more familiar with it. He almost hoped he wouldn’t remember being held, because then he didn’t know how he could ever return to sleeping alone, without a heartbeat thudding beneath his ear. Even if that was exactly what would happen when they went home. What happened in Vegas had to stay in Vegas.

Otherwise they might become something real, and Jasper would hold on too tight, turn it to dust in his hands. His heart was destructive that way.

nine

The sound of Jasper’s alarm made him groan. He’d been sleeping so good.

He heard a quiet huff of laughter and opened his eyes. The blanket was pulled up to his shoulders, but underneath that he was only wearing his boxers, and his head was on Konrad’s chest. Jasper took stock of what he could remember of the night before, trying to string blurry images into something coherent, and heat rushed to his face when he recalled his almost blatant propositioning of Konrad when they got back to the room. Most of the memories were vague and disjointed, but he remembered Konrad’s response clearly. Not tonight, darling.

A quiet tension settled between them. Jasper didn’t know if he’d been too much, and Konrad probably expected him to retreat into himself. The air was thick with uncertainty, his skin was too hot from being pressed up against Konrad, but he felt like something fragile would shatter if he let go.

“Hi,” Jasper said into his chest.

Konrad brought a hand to the back of his head and stroked his curls. “Hello. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” It was mostly the truth. His head hurt and he was embarrassed as all hell, but he was a lot more okay than he’d expect in his current position. He nosed lightly into the soft patch of silver hair where his face rested. He liked how much of Konrad’s chest this particular sleep shirt exposed. He would say as much, but he was still bracing for the inevitable conversation about his behavior the night before.

There was affection between them, but he didn’t even know if Konrad was attracted to him. Jasper had always found Konrad to be devastatingly handsome, in an unobtainable way, like one would admire a painting from the other side of a velvet rope. Even when they almost kissed at Konrad’s house, it still felt like they were reaching for each other from different worlds.

Since they’d been in Vegas, Konrad had started to feel real. Like something Jasper could reach out and touch without staining him.

“Thanks for making sure I got back in one piece,” Jasper said in a weak attempt to fill the silence.

“I told you I would take care of you.”

“You did.” People said a lot of things. They usually didn’t mean half of them. Jasper dared to look up at Konrad, his heart skipping at their proximity like a rock being skipped over the water, his emotions rippling with every beat. “Sorry if I was a little… forward last night.”

“Jasper.”

Jasper’s face burned hotter as he fumbled for an explanation. “I’m a frisky drunk. It’s fine if you’re not, like, interested in—”

A thumb pressed against his lips.

“Jasper,” Konrad repeated, his accent thicker and voice lower than Jasper had ever heard it. “Be it art or people, I’ve laid eyes on marvels that are nearly impossible to put into words. I’ve had experiences you cannot imagine. And with all my knowledge, all that I’ve seen, nothing could have prepared me for you. If you never allowed me to touch you and only admire, I would be more fulfilled than all the rest of the world’s beauty could ever afford me. But if you did permit my touch? I would express my devotion to the deepest parts of you, until it was writ on your body. I would impart my worship onto your flesh until there could be no doubt of how desperately I desire you.”

He stroked across Jasper’s bottom lip with the thumb he’d used to silence him, then let it fall away.

Jasper tried to take a breath and choked on it. “You—Jesus, Konrad, you could have just said you were interested.”