Page 12 of Fifty & Feral

Once I finished up work for the day, I got in my car, and instead of driving home like a normal person, or maybe stopping to pick up something for dinner or sushi from my favorite sushi place, since it was Thursday, instead, I navigated to a house I’d never been to, to visit a man I had never met, all because it had been a few hours since I heard from him.

The last time we’d spoken, Jack sounded off. His voice had been hoarse, his answers slower, like he was exhausted beyond measure. Responses to my texts took longer, until finally he never replied at all. Now it had been a full day since he had said anything.

Was I being a stage-five clinger? Probably.

Was I going to stop myself from going to his house? Nope, I was not.

I didn’t even know him well enough to know if him not calling now was out of character or not. Except it was because we had been talking regularly ever since that first call two weeks ago. Thomas had tried to talk me out of this little visit, and maybe I would get to Jack’s home and turn around. Or maybe Jack would look me in the face and call me a creep and demand to have me fired.

Anxiety pooled in my gut, and not for the first time, I thought about turning the car around. That same anxiety had me worried for Jack’s safety and well-being.

I cared more about that than I did the prospect of rejection. At least I would know if he was all right, instead of the massive amount of worrying I had been doing since my last text went unanswered.

Right now, I couldn’t even see his last text response on my phone screen without scrolling up. That’s how desperate I’d gotten. Five or six texts went unanswered. I should have stopped at two.

The house I pulled up to was not unlike what I saw on the online street view. A few updates had been made to it since the satellite picture. It was spring now, so the tulips were in bloom, it had been fall in the pictures online, and the place had been full of fall colors. Now it was awash with spring. Was landscaping something that Jack enjoyed, or did he just do it to pass the time? And why did he think his landscaping lacked color, this was gorgeous. Yellow daffodils bloomed around the red maple in the front yard, and tulips of all sorts ran the length of the walkway from the drive to the front porch.

I gave myself one last opportunity to talk myself out of what I was doing when I put the car in park and got out. I didn’t bother locking it. I needed a quick getaway in case I made a complete fool of myself. The garage was closed, so I went to the front door. The windows were dark. I didn’t try very hard to look in. I didn’t want to be a total creeper. Well, more of a creeper than I was currently being by just showing up here unannounced and uninvited. Jack had never even told me where he lived. I’d abused my privileges at work and written down his address. A serious violation of his privacy, and a fireable offense.

I took a deep breath and shook out my hands, then lifted one to knock before noticing the Ring doorbell. Of course, I was on camera. There was no going back now. I pushed the little button, and it lit up blue. Nothing happened. No one came to the door. No one spoke through the speaker.

I waited twenty seconds before pushing the button again.

Another thirty agonizing seconds passed.

This time I didn’t bother with the button. Who knew if the technology was malfunctioning. I would do this the old-fashioned way.

I knocked. Hard. My fists beating against the door, the sound making a thud against the solid green door. “Jack,” I called out. I didn’t want to shout and alarm his neighbors, but I had to know if he was all right.

Finally, the door opened.

I had never seen Jack before, but I recognized him immediately. He was taller than me, wearing an old green flannel and a pair of jeans that had holes at the seams of the pockets from use rather than as a style choice. His gray hair was long enough to be wavy, but short enough that it could be combed into submission if the situation arose. His shoulders were broad, and his muscular forearms had a dark dusting of hair.

My shoulders relaxed, and I let out a breath. “Jack,” I said.

“Connor?” His brow furrowed.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Oh thank fuck, he seemed to realize who I was. “Is everything all right? I’ve been worried about you.” He had the door only open about three inches. The house was dark inside, and there were dark circles under his eyes. If I had to guess, I’d say the man hadn’t been sleeping. Though I don’t know what he looked like usually.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said. The door didn’t move. He didn’t let me see more of him.

Oh, fuck. Knife to the chest right out of the gate.

“Right, I know,” I said. “I just…”

He grimaced. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean that you shouldn’t visit. I love that you’re here, and I’m sorry I haven’t called.” His face pinched, and he gripped the door, keeping the space between us as small as possible. “It’s complicated.”

I didn’t know what that meant. The nagging feeling that something was wrong and that Jack needed me didn’t ease. “Do you want me to go?” I said. “I just came by to see if you were all right. I’m sorry if that’s creepy. I’m breaking all sorts of rules by being here, and if you wanted, you could get me fired. All you’d have to do is call my boss and let them know. This sort of behavior borders on stalking and would be grounds for immediate dismissal.” I shuffled my feet and wrung my hands right in front of me. “Anyway, now that I see that you’re alive, I can go.”

I turned to leave, and the door swung open. Jack stood in the doorway, letting the light of the day into the dark house.

His chest heaved as he looked at me, and his Adam’s apple bobbed.

“Don’t go,” he said. The words ripped out of him like they came from deep within his soul. The panic that was just beginning to bubble over inside of me eased. “Please. I’m a mess. The house is a mess. But please, don’t go.”

“I’m here,” I said, and I stepped toward the door. He did look like he hadn’t been sleeping well. There was a tear in his shirt I hadn’t seen initially, even though it didn’t look like it was overly old. Almost looked like he had been in a fight. He had scratches on his arms. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. Um. Come on in. This might be a good thing. I can finally talk to someone.”