Page 41 of Broken & Bound

Speak, for fuck’s sake. Give the man an answer. He deserves that much.

“Princess, if there’s a part of you that doesn’t want this. I need to know. I don’t want to assume. I don’t want to hurt you. Ever. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

The answer flew out of my mouth, and heat rushed to my cheeks. That was foolish. I knew it the minute it burst from my lips. And even worse, he did as well. Before I could continue, before I could rush headlong into another explanation or attempt to smooth over the moment, his hand lifted.

A single finger settled lightly against my lips. The gesture stole the breath from my lungs. My eyes widened. It was as though he’d looked straight through my answer and found the panic beneath it. Found the part of me scrambling to say the right thing before I’d taken the time to understand it.

“Please, don’t rush past this. It matters too much.”

The room fell quiet. I didn’t deserve this man. All the trauma I brought to the table was baggage. Yet here he was taking the time to love me where I was at. To be honest with me, and to ensure that I knew what I wanted.

That was part of the problem. I knew I wanted him. I just didn’t know how to put that into words. I stared at the beautiful brown eyes watching me so carefully. At the compassion reflected there. God, he was reading me with an ease that should have terrified me. Instead, it left me feeling exposed in the best possible way.

Pavel Lenkov made me feel seen.

The realization hit me hard. Most people listened to respond. Pasha listened to understand. Slowly, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against the finger still resting against my lips. His eyes softened. My heart thudded hard inside my body.

Seated before me, he looked impossibly calm. Like he had all the time in the world to wait for me to catch up and trust myself to answer fully. Then he lowered his hand.

“I’ll ask more plainly. Is a dynamic something you even want?”

There it was, out in the open. No more running. My gaze dropped. For the first time, I truly noticed the position I’d settled into. Kneeling. My stubborn ass was kneeling on the ground, soaked panties and all. I wasn’t sitting here because he commanded it. I’d chosen my position.

Time to be real with myself. With him.

“I do want one. With you.”

The confession left me feeling strangely exposed.

“I want you. I just…” I paused, searching for the right words this time. “I need to move slowly. I can’t dive into it all at once.”

A ragged breath left him, and his body released the tension he’d been concealing so well. I saw it unravel before me, like proof that I wasn’t navigating this alone.

“I wouldn’t expect you to. And it’s honestly the only way I see this working. It needs to be slow and intentional. Trust needs room to breathe and it can only be built and earned over time. Which I’d like to think we’ve been doing for a while now.”

A loose strand of hair slipped forward as I nodded. Then I straightened my spine and settled once more. My shoulders rolled back, and my hands rested lightly against my thighs. I spread them apart, showing my willingness to be vulnerable. With him.

I slowed my breathing down, knowing there was more that needed to be said. This was too important.

“I agree we have been building trust. I trust you more than anyone else…”

“But?”

“One of my biggest fear is I’m afraid you’re too far in this and I’ll struggle to catch up,” I whispered my confession.

He waited, his expression softening as I tried to get my thoughts together.

“Take your time.”

Warmth spread through me.

“I want to understand what we’re building while we’re building it. I want the freedom to ask questions. To be honest when something scares me. And I want to know you’ll be honest with me too. I know this won’t be easy. I’ve been avoiding it because, it terrifies me.”

The corner of his mouth twitched, and his brow furrowed. “What terrifies you most?”

“The conflicting emotions, racing thoughts. Discovering who I am in relation to the sexual side of me. A side I didn’t want to admit existed. But apart from all that, I need you to know something. It’s important.”