Page 82 of Mr. Wilde

“Me too. I’ve been there. Trust me. If anyone can relate to being in a bad place, it’s me. But I confided in you, and you vanished. I’m not experienced in relationships. And less so with healthy ones. Yet I still have more experience than you.” I thrust my hands on my hips and shake my head in disgust. “Nothing about this is smart,” I add, waving my index finger back and forth between us. “I’ve already had my heart broken by someone who walked away when I needed him most. I’m not going back there.”

“Cass—”

I throw my hand up. “No. I really care about you. I fought this hard. I let my guard down when it seemed what was happening between us was mutual. But I deserve someone who is willing to be my equal. Face their demons with as much effort as I face mine.”

He looks defeated. Good! Maybe he knows how it feels.

Jeez, I don’t really mean that. The last thing I want is to hurt him. But I’m done letting other people take from me. Even one I’ve fallen hard for.

“Max, I want to live in the light. Do you think I want to hide in a gentlemen’s club forever? I deserve someone who I can walk hand in hand with. A man I trust to protect my heart. If you’re not capable of giving me that, I’ll find someone who is.”

Until then, I’ll happily enjoy life on my own.

32

CASSIDY

The heavy bag groans under the weight of my kick, a dull thud echoing through the small, humid gym. Sweat stings my eyes, but I don’t stop. I can’t. Every strike feels like I’m shedding another layer of the girl who was afraid of her own shadow.

Holt stands behind the bag, his massive arms steadying it. I can feel his eyes searching mine. “You’re really focused today, Cass,” he grunts, bracing for another round of strikes. “I don’t think I can remember you ever seeming this focused. Is this because you’re ready to move on from here? Or did something happen?”

I take a jagged breath. My heart is doing that familiar dance against my ribs. This isn’t from the heavy workout. This is from my nerves jumping out of my skin. “I let my guard down.”

Holt freezes. The bag swings slightly in the sudden silence.

“I let someone in. And I fell pretty hard, Holt.”

“Someone from the club?”

“Yes. A member,” I answer, keeping my voice steady as I start a series of rapid-fire jabs. “I know he’s off-limits. I shouldn’t have let it happen. But he made me want more. More than spending every single day alone.” I don’t mention the way his hands feel on my skin or the hours we spent tangled in his sheets at his mega-mansion on the bluff. That’s a secret I’m not ready to share.

Holt’s expression conveys an understanding I wasn’t expecting. And here I thought his bachelor lifestyle was a choice.

“He’s the CEO of a major cybersecurity firm.”

Holt whistles. “Wow. That’s high stakes, sis. You sure he’s not just another suit looking for a play thing?”

“I considered that at first,” I admit, pausing to wipe sweat from my forehead with the back of my glove. “I was terrified he’d think I was only interested in him for insider access to his company. Once he found out what I was studying. But it wasn’t like that. He actually let me participate in several data forensics projects. He didn’t just give me a seat at the table. He brought me in. He seemed genuinely impressed with my work.”

I look down at my taped knuckles. Regardless of what happens between us, I’m certain he’d let me include it on my resume. It’s the first real professional win I’ve had since the academy.

“Well, of course he was impressed with your work. You’re incredibly smart.” I shake my head. My big brother is always lifting me up. “Just be careful, Cass.” Holt’s voice drops a protective octave. “Men in that world? They have a lot of secrets. And secrets have a way of getting people hurt.”

“I know. I’m being careful,” I promise him, squaring my shoulders. “Honestly? I’m feeling stronger than ever.” My thoughts drift back to that argument with Max. Where I made it abundantly clear what I deserve. As much as I would’ve loved for him to profess his undying love for me, I’m a practical person. I’ve survived too much of the real world not to be. There was no other option than walking away. At least without some reassurance he’s working on his “fucked-upness.”

Holt watches me for a long beat, then nods toward the calendar on the wall. “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling so strong. Do you feel ready to visit Dad’s graveside?”

I know what he’s asking. Dad’s birthday is in a few days. “Yes.” I don’t hesitate. And it feels good. And for the first time in three years, I mean it. “I’m nervous about the emotional aspect. Of talking to him after all of this time.” Even if he isn’t physically here. Missing him doesn’t get easier. “But I’m not worried about feeling like a sitting duck to some assailant. Not anymore.”

I throw one last, powerful hook that nearly knocks the bag out of Holt’s grip.

“Good,” he says, a small, proud smile breaking through his concern. “I’ll call you once I know the exact flight plan. You still feel okay with driving to that small airport near here I showed you on the navigation app?”

“Yes. And once we get back, I plan to drive to Hanover for my neurology appointment on my own.”

Holt’s eyebrows shoot up. His grin is wide and sincere. “You’re really up for that?”

“Yes, Holt. It’s time.” I laugh, feeling an odd but welcome spark of joy. “This chick is finally getting her groove back. Now I just need to dye my hair.”