Page 90 of Outcast’s Return

I have wasted years of my life. Of her life.

Of our life.

Now my own hands are shaking.

I mean, Christ, Jolie was just a teenager. A girl scared of betraying her father. Yes, she made a choice, but they weren’t her words in that email.

It wasn’t her that wanted to end things.

And now the real Jolie is walking away from me in the rain.

She’s tried to shield her father from me. That’s why she’s remained silent. She tried to keep the peace. She was trying to contain the damage and the fallout.

And I’ve been punishing her for it. I’ve used her most vulnerable moment to hurt her. I’ve behaved like all the other men in her life.

I saw what’s behind her eyes as we breathed the same air and she told me the truth. I saw in her my pain. My anger. She hates herself because of her betrayal. For staying silent. For deceiving her brother. For obeying her father.

She’s been lonely and manipulated too, just like me.

This is the woman I once daydreamed of marrying.

I’ve always thought I was logical and smart, but I’ve been so fucking stupid.

I’ve hated so many things in my life. I’ve hated the entire fucking world. And yet, here is the one person who sees me as I really am. The one person who trusted me. Who listened to me. Who cared for me.

This is a girl who emailed me before a school exam, reassuring me that I was good enough. This is a girl who gave me a peck on the cheek one lonely night that made me fall in love.

And I’m fucking letting her walk away again.

The world narrows to her silhouette in the rain. The streetlights reflect off her dress. Nothing else matters but her.

Everything has always been about her.

My pulse is hammering in my ears.

It’s time to stop the cycle of hate.

I run to her in the pouring rain, put my hand on her wrist, and tell her, in one sentence, the truest thing in the world...

35

JOLIE

“You were my first and only love.”

He says those words as though they are the most normal thing for him to utter, even with the rain pouring down and his hand now on my wrist and his eyes burning through the darkness. He’s so serious, and I can feel it in the pit of my soul.

“I am?”

My voice is so timid, so unsure. But Fabien is unwavering.

“You believe me, Angel. I know you do.”

“I don’t…”

“You must believe it. You were the only person I have ever loved this way. I believe it. I’ve always believed it, even when I tried to bury the thought.”

I look down at the ground.