Page 69 of Blinding Lights

So do I and yet, here I am. Thousands of miles away. What the fuck is going on with me?

Atlas turns my way, and his pleading eyes meet mine. “Please trust me.”

Something inside me jolts at his request, and I want to trust him, but it’s not just him I’m worried about. Still, I say, “I will, as long as you protect her.”

“You have my word.” He levels me with a look, and I can’t deny the sincerity in his eyes.

“I believe you,” I admit, dipping my head in a nod. “I know you well enough to know that when you say you’ll do something, you will.” At least, he’ll try. Not that it helps Henley when he’s not around.

He sucks in a breath, his eyes shining with something I’m choosing not to decipher. “I care about her. I always have. But this…this is something different.”

Henley’s biting back a smile, her eyes locked on Atlas when I look her way. My stomach knots. What if he’s lying to me like I’m lying for Henley’s sake? How do I protect her when I’m halfway across the country?

Not noticing my change in demeanor, or perhaps ignoring it, Henley grins my way. “Big bro, turn the other way unless you want to see me lay one on your friend.”

I groan under my breath and walk around them, heading to Henley’s door. “I’ll wait for you inside.”

How do I tell her she shouldn’t be seeing Atlas when I’m only here to talk to her about Lily? I want to protect them both, but is it really my place to say something?

Henley’s all smiles when she finally comes inside, and the knot in my stomach twists, making me almost double over.

“What made you go out of your way to bring me donuts?” she asks, her tone full of sass as though she knows what’s coming. And maybe she would have been right, if Atlas hadn’t been here.

“I just wanted to stop by and spend some quality time with my sister before I left.” I shrug, knowing she’ll see right through my lie. I’m laying it on a little thick.

“Bullshit.” She calls me out, right on cue. “Why are you really here?”

I shake my head, running a hand through my hair as I gather my thoughts. “You’re going to think I’m even more of an asshole if I tell you the truth.”

“Well, you know my secret, so what’s a good brother-sister bonding sesh without you telling me one too?” She smiles like her relationship is so easy, and I force a grin before a shadow of anger creeps across my face.

“I came to talk about Lily, but⁠—”

“I knew it!” she talks over me. “I knew you were crushing on her.” She’s beaming with happiness, and while I’m grateful she appears supportive of the two of us, I’m struggling to match her enthusiasm.

“I guess we both have a thing for each other’s besties.” I use air quotes to punctuate my sarcasm, and Henley bites back a smile until my face drops.

“If only it wasn’t as complicated as it is,” I grumble under my breath.

“I can’t believe my brother, the grumpy son of a bitch—and by bitch, I mean our sperm donor, not our precious mother—is actually a softie over my Lily girl.” There’s a lightness to her tone that almost makes me walk away, knowing I’m about to piss her off. But I don’t move.

“I can’t either,” I say instead. It would be so much easier if that wasn’t the case.

Henley turns to face me, giving me her full attention while I swallow a lump in my throat. I came here to ask her to give it to me straight. To beg her to convince me I have to walk away. But now…I want to do the same for her.

“If I’m real with you, will you hear me out about Atlas?”

She furrows her brow, but nods, clearly not expecting the direction I took the conversation. And if I’m honest, neither did I. But it’s impossible to explain my fears about Lily without it leading back to her and Atlas. It’s the same thing.

“I really like her, Henley. I’ve never come close to feeling this way about anyone else. And I initially came here in the hope that you’d push me away. That you’d tell me I wasn’t right for her. But I don’t need that anymore.”

“You don’t?”

“No. I know what I have to do.” Sort of. “I…” Henley’s eyes widen with intrigue, and I trail off, changing my mind about lecturing her. If I tell her to stay away from Atlas, she’s likely to hate me for it, and I can’t risk hurting her like that.

“I wanted to ask if Ava’s dad is truly good to them both,” I lie, though that very question has been weighing on my mind since I asked Lily.

The corner of Henley’s mouth quirks before she rolls her eyes. “You do not want me to get started on that man.” I stiffen at the disdain in her tone, and when she notices, she rushes to reassure me. “He’s a douche, but I don’t think he’d ever hurt them if that’s what you mean.”