Page 47 of Blinding Lights

“Nah,” Atlas confirms. “He liked having us by the balls.” He chuckles and I can’t help but laugh along with him.

“We used to get into some dumb shit, didn’t we?” Atlas adds after a beat, his voice full of melancholy.

“We sure did.” I nod with a smile, my mind taking me back to a time I vowed to forget. It was easier that way. “Remember that time Coach caught us at that senior bonfire?”

Atlas bursts out laughing, making my smile widen. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you run so fast in my life.”

“I haven’t. I tweaked my ankle hopping over those fences, but hey, he never actually caught us.” I laugh under my breath until reality sinks in. Life is so different now.

We both fall silent after that, and it’s somewhat more comfortable than I would have expected considering what’s coming.

The closer we get to the city, the more pressing our talk becomes, and all too soon, Atlas breaks the ice. “I’ve missed you, man. Not to get all sappy and shit, but seeing you these last two months really brought that to light.”

Fuck…he’s diving in deep. There’s no easing into it. “I feel the same. Even though I was dreading it, I wound up really enjoying myself,” I say, avoiding his more personal sentiments, and I’m surprisingly not lying. I did enjoy myself. When I allowed myself to live in the moment.

Atlas raises a brow, his expression telling me he’s as surprised by my admission as I am. The only difference being that he doesn’t know about my time with Lily, which highly contributed to my enjoyment, despite the way it ended.

“Well, I'm glad to hear that.” Atlas’s face lights up with a smile. “Felt good to have you around, and at a wedding, no less.”

“Rumor has it, Hunt wasn’t the first of us to get married.” I joke and instantly regret it.

“Oh, fuck off.” He chuckles but there’s a nervous edge to it and I feel guilty.

“Only repeating what I’ve heard.” I throw my hand up in defence, teasing with a laugh, and thankfully he laughs along with me.”

We’re quiet again after that until the energy shifts and Atlas turns my way. “Wish we didn’t go so long without talking.”

Try as I might, I can’t stop the sigh that escapes me. Though I don’t regret pulling away from my past, I do feel bad about it. From the perspective of my friends, I abandoned them. They’d never say it, but it’s the truth. And I can’t blame them for feeling that way. Unfortunately, it’s not so simple.

“It wasn’t personal. I had a lot going on, and had to focus, or I’d have gone insane. But you know, if you ever reached out, or needed me, I would have been there.” I pause and take in a breath, willing myself to give him more than I have in the past, hoping he still knows me well enough not to ask questions. “In the meantime, I had to do what was right for my family and me…” My goal was to protect them. At all costs. And to do that, I kind of had to separate my two lives. “I hope you can understand that.”

I hold my breath until Atlas nods, his expression pensive. “I get it, and it doesn’t help that the phone calls stopped flowing from me as well. Guess we both sort of got wrapped up in it all.”

I let out a hum of agreement and appreciate him pretending he’s somewhat to blame even though he’s not. We fall silent again, and it’s not long before Atlas is pulling into the airport drop-off zone and coming to a stop in front of my terminal.

He jumps out without a word and heads around to the back, opening the trunk. “I’ll be seeing you soon,” he tells me when I get out, and while he sounds certain, we both know it’s not guaranteed. “Don’t be a stranger. If I call, you pick up, you hear me?”

A nervous chuckle escapes me but I hide behind a cocky grin. “Maybe.” I shrug, making him laugh before he pulls me into an awkward hug and waves as I head inside.

I don’t look back, unable to turn around with the emotional weight of the weekend holding me hostage.

And the farther my steps take me, the more confused I am. I don’t know how I feel about any of it.

CHRISTMAS

Chapter Fourteen

LILY

The breeze blows my hair into my face as I rush to get out of the cool night air. It was a pleasant day until the sun set. Now I wish I’d dressed in something warmer.

A blend of scents wafts through the air when I push open the door—coffee, pine, cinnamon, and vanilla. All signs that Christmas is coming to The Bookish Aroma.

“Ava, can you please bring me the star?” Henley calls out from the top of our Christmas tree, balancing precariously on a very unreliable ladder.

“I’ve got it,” I call back, scooping it up from the box in the entry before Ava can get it. Knowing her, she’d try to climb the ladder behind Henley, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting that happen. “Ava, I have a more important job for you. Can you ask Charley to show you where the presents are?”

Ava’s eyes light up and she races off into the back room. Safe for now.