Page 2 of On You 2

The disgust written across Hov’s face told me he felt the same way Reggie did about me; he just wasn’t going to say it.

I swallowed hard.

The doctor took an exhausted breath.

“Are we ready?”

“Yes.” Hov answered.

“Through these double doors to my left, please.”

He walked off, leading us toward the back.

I followed behind him while Reggie and Hov walked on opposite sides of me. Neither one of them spoke, but I could feel both of their eyes on me, and somehow that felt worse than them talking shit.

The back rooms were cold and smelled like alcohol wipes and bleach. Once we sat down, the nurse wrapped a tight band around my arm while I stared at the wall, trying not to break down crying yet again. I just kept telling myself to be strong and that I would soon see my baby smile again.

When the needle slid into my skin, I sucked my teeth and turned my head away. I've always hated the sight of blood, but after seeing how much spilled out of Trey, I hated it even more. After that, just a scrape on RJ's toe made me squeamish, so knowing that the wound he's suffering from right now was much worse physically made me feel sick.

Once they finished and slapped a cotton ball on my arm with a bandage, I was sent back out into the lobby with crackers and juice in my hand because of the amount of blood they had drawn.

I dropped down into the chair beside my mama, and she opened her arms for me. I leaned into her shoulder and shut my eyes.

“Where's Crew, Mama?” I asked quietly.

“He's still outside,” she replied, rubbing my arm.

“He did not leave though Jassy. He wouldn't do that. He loves you and RJ too much. He's probably just hurt, baby.”

I glanced toward the hospital entrance, and through the glass I could see him standing outside alone with both hands on top of his head. He looked like somebody trying not to lose their fuckin mind, and I knew how hard that was for him.

“Pray, baby. We all have to continue to pray.”

My eyes started burning instantly after that, so I closed them quickly and grabbed my mama's shirt. I didn't care how old I was. Her comfort and the feeling of her heartbeat against mine made me feel safe. I knew she was right, and praying would be the only thing that could completely change this situation. God was in control, and the doctors were just vessels of His power.

God, if You save my baby, I swear I'll get myself together. And this isn't just one of those prayers that has no meaning behind it. I mean it, God. I'll move differently, I'll live differently, and I'll stop making selfish decisions. Just please don't let my son be the price for all my mistakes. Please, God.

I said amen, then kept my eyes closed and my head on her chest because opening them made all of this too real.

She rocked me back and forth, whispering quick prayers under her breath and kissing my forehead as I wept almost in silence. I'm not sure how much time passed before she was shaking me gently.

“Jassy, the doctor is walking up.”

I finally opened my eyes, blinded by the bright lights of the hospital lobby.

I stood up along with everyone else in the room, and then the doctor started to speak.

“There is some good news. There was a blood match, and we were able to perform the transfusion on him right away.”

For a brief moment, I felt relief rise in my chest, hope slipping in where fear had been sitting this whole time.

“But,” he added, quickly taking away that feeling of euphoria I just had.

“Your son slipped into a coma after the transfusion and is now breathing with the help of a ventilator.”

The room went quiet. I'm sure people were talking but I cut off the world the second those words hit me, like my mind refused to process anything other than what he had just said.

The grip I had on my mama tightened for a split second, and then I felt my strength slipping away.