Page 75 of Paging Dr. VanRyan

“Are you sure you want me to go? We can have a beer and watch a game or something. Netflix or whatever.”

“Thanks, but I’m tired. I’m gonna take a nap.”

He nodded. “I hear you. You know where I am.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I do.”

He left, the door shutting with a quiet click behind him. I looked around the room, suddenly seeing her everywhere. Sitting at the table while we ate dinner. On the sofa as we talked.

In the bedroom, I stripped and had a shower, then lay down on the bed, my body exhausted and my mind still humming. I turned on my phone, but aside from some hospital stuff, there was nothing.

That was good, I told myself. A clean break.

That was what we needed.

I shut my eyes and let sleep take me.

Maddy

I woke up the next morning, my eyes and throat feeling like sandpaper from all my crying. After Matthew had left me in the bar, I’d headed outside, wanting to get back to the house and my room so I could break down in private.

The doorman tipped his hat. “Miss Tate?”

“Yes?”

“Your car is waiting.”

“My car?” I had questioned.

“Yes. Mr. VanRyan has paid for a car to drive you home safely.” He escorted me to a waiting Uber. “Safe travels,” he said as he shut the door.

I shut my eyes at the gesture. Not surprising, Matthew’s final act was making sure I arrived home safe.

I hated the small voice in my head that asked who was making sure he got home safe.

That was no longer my concern.

At the house, I went right past the girls crowded in the living room watching a movie. Jill looked my way, then turned her head, allowing me the dignity of getting past them, but knowing what had happened, no doubt from the tears that were streaming down my face. They had started in the car, and I couldn’t stop them. In my room, I had sobbed myself to sleep, waking up several times with a start, remembering what had happened, and crying all over again.

But this morning, in the early hours of the day, I was dry-eyed. I sat up, running a hand through my hair, and looked around the small room. I picked up my phone, scrolling through messages, not surprised there wasn’t one from Matthew. I stared at the screen, wanting to call him. Text him. Do something. I set my phone aside, knowing what I had to do was let him go. None of this was fair to him. It never had been.

He was right. I couldn’t do it all. Neither could he. I thought I knew how intense this program was going to be, but nothing prepared me for the grueling nature of the daily grind. The overwhelming amount of work and concentration it was taking. Adding in trying to keep a young relationship going was next to impossible.

A low knock at my door startled me, and I looked up. “Come in.”

Jill’s head appeared around the door, and she smiled. “Coffee?”

“Sure.”

She came in, shutting the door behind her, and handed me a cup. She curled up at the end of my bed the way she always did if she came to see me. We had gotten close and spent time together whenever we could find a few moments.

The room was quiet as we sipped. Then she spoke. “You okay?”

I sighed. “I will be.”

“You broke up?”

I told her what had happened. What Matthew had said. How he had left but made sure a car was waiting for me to bring me back.