Page 72 of Don’t Look Back

“It’s a four-year program,” I said, “but that’s too long for me. I’m not going to let myself be without you for four years. I’m going to do it in two, and two years from today, I want you in New York, standing beside me when I open my restaurant. You’ll be there, right? You promised.”

Ryan smiled through the tears. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I’ll be there.”

I barely swallowed down a sob, and retreated down the driveway.

I didn’t realize the magnitude of what I was doing right away. I was too distracted with everything the airport had to offer. By my calculations, Ryan was around seventy miles in the opposite direction.

Charlie led the way through the airport, stopping and looking back periodically to make sure I was still following. Once we were through security and had located our gate, I dropped into a seat, checking my phone one last time. I couldn’t stop the emotions anymore. It hurt. It fucking hurt.

“Are you alright?” Charlie asked.

I could only shake my head as the first of the sobs forced their way out. “I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.”

Dropping everything, Charlie took me into her arms. I’m sure I was a sight to see: a six-foot-four man bawling like a baby in his best friend’s chest, but it seemed like the tears would never stop. Losing my mom, Grace leaving, every injury I’d ever had—nothing measured up. It felt like I’d left half my heart in that driveway.

Flight 4770 to New York City now boarding…

PART FIVE

I DREAM OF GENIE’S

“Today’s the day my life begins. I’ll be ready for anything.

To take on life, to take on love, to take on possibility and responsibility.

Today, my life begins, and I for one can’t wait.”

-Alex Karev

Grey’s Anatomy

Season 5, Episode 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Year One

Tuesday January 12 2:56 pm

Man, talk about a fish out of water. New York is… it’s… it’s too much Ryan. Charlie was a lot of help, but she couldn’t stay here forever. I don’t know what I’ll do on my own. I’m so far away from everything I’ve ever known… including you. This tiny apartment feels huge.

Boy, you know texts are supposed to be short, right?

I’m kidding.

You’ll find your place. I know you will. Plus, when I come to visit, that apartment won’t feel so empty—you know how I throw my clothes everywhere. You’ll get sick of me.

How’s school?

There’s no way in hell I’d ever get sick of you.

It’s no joke. It’s the most competitive environment I’ve ever been in. I’ve already entered a few competitions. I’ll let you know how they go.

Spring break can’t come fast enough. I miss you.

Okay, three texts in a row? Now you’re just trying to wind me up.

I miss you too, mi cielo.