Page 74 of Knocked Sideways

It was real. They were still doing this.

And he hadn’t been sure if Jed would still want to sleep together every night—Remy definitely wanted that; he was never sleeping in the guest room again if he could help it—but when they were done watching, Jed said, “Come to bed now?”

“Yeah,” Remy said, hesitating. “I mean, if you want me to?”

“I don’t think I’m up for more than sleeping. But yeah, if you want, I like having you there.”

“Me, too.” Remy tried not to sound too eager, because it didn’t necessarily mean anything. But once they were in bed, Remy in his briefs and Jed in some sleep pants, Jed rolled toward him and smoothed his hair out of his face and gave him a deep kiss.

“Been wanting to do that all day.”

“Really?” Remy couldn’t stop himself from reaching up for more, throwing a leg over Jed to pull himself closer.

Jed gave him that half smile that made his mind blank out and leaned in and kissed him again. It wasn’t long before Remy was fully hard and rocking against Jed’s enormous thigh, saying, “Sorry, is this okay? You don’t have to do anything.”

Jed whispered, “Shh,” and kissed him even more deeply. Remy pulled away with a gasp, pushed his briefs down, and brought himself off with a few quick strokes.

Damn. He hadn’t meant to do that tonight. He didn’t want Jed thinking they couldn’t be in bed together without Remy getting off.

But Jed just said, “Needed that, did you?” and handed him a few tissues.

“I mean, it’s kind of your fault.” Remy wiped himself off and tossed the tissues on the floor. He’d get them in the morning. He was suddenly sleepy, and he was pretty sure Jed didn’t care.

“How’s that my fault?” Jed asked. Remy was almost out, but he thought Jed’s voice sounded . . . fond.

“Too sexy. Can’t help myself around you.” Remy managed to open his eyes to get another look at Jed then, because as sated as he was, he knew he was acting damn needy.

Jed didn’t seem upset. He didn’t answer, but he dropped a kiss on Remy’s forehead and pulled Remy’s head down on his shoulder, and Remy fell asleep thinking this was all he’d ever wanted.

The next morning, they left on a quick road trip with back-to-back games in Nashville and St. Louis. Both teams were fighting to stay in contention for playoff spots, so the games were vicious. Coach played Remy more minutes, too, including on the first penalty kill squad, which he loved. But he was still getting used to the extra ice time.

And in the St. Louis game, they took a lot of penalties. The Steamers’ strategy with the Blizzards’ second line was to get Petey riled up and distracted with some hard—if clean—hits, along with some slashing that the refs somehow missed. That pissed Jake off in a bad way, and Hal had to yell at them both, as much as Hal ever did, during the first intermission. Remy closed his eyes and tried to ignore them all, along with the bruises he’d accumulated.

That night at the hotel, Jed walked him to his room and followed him inside. Remy turned toward him as soon as the door closed and reached up for a kiss.

“Hey.” Jed took his shoulders and held him back a little. “You know I can’t stay. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You took a lot of hits tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Remy said. “Nothing I haven’t taken before.” He waited, unsure. Did not sleeping together mean no kiss? He wished they had talked about this, too. He guessed he could bring it up now. But he wished for once Jed would read his mind and tell him what he was thinking.

Jed was still holding his shoulders and examining his face, like there was some secret he thought Remy was keeping. Remy waited while Jed looked him over, until he couldn’t take it any longer.

“I just want to kiss you, okay? I know we can’t do more.”

“I haven’t seen much evidence yet that we can kiss without it going somewhere, Remy.” Jed looked stern, but Remy knew by now that it wasn’t his actual serious face.

“Please.” Remy pitched his voice low, because he knew Jed liked it when he said that word. “I promise I won’t ask for more.”

“I’m not sure that’s what gets us in trouble.” But Jed pulled him in and kissed him thoroughly, until Remy melted against him. Jed buried his face in Remy’s hair and said, “This is what I mean, babe.”

“Mmm.” Remy kissed under Jed’s ear. It was hard to focus on anything besides the salt on Jed’s skin. “’S okay, though, I know you have to go.”

“I really do.”

Remy looked up at Jed’s steady blue-gray gaze and took in the tightness at the corner of his eyes and thought maybe Jed was having more trouble than he’d admit, holding himself back. But his arms were still tight around Remy’s back, pinning him in place, so Remy reached up and kissed Jed again, long and deep, losing himself in the heat of Jed’s mouth and the rasp of Jed’s beard across his skin.

And then he realized he was fully hard already, but Jed wasn’t, so he pulled back and hoped Jed didn’t notice.

No such luck. Jed kissed his forehead and took a deep breath and said, “I wish I could help you out with that. But I don’t think it’s a good idea on the road.”