Page 21 of Only for Tonight

Shit.

Heaving out a sigh, I bend down and begin gathering the wet, muddy groceries, piling as much into my arms as I can hold. Shuffling to my door, I see there’s a lockbox fixed around my doorknob. That wasn’t there earlier. I look up to find a yellow sheet of paper taped to the door, an eviction notice. Apparently, the locks have been changed, and I have to pay the back rent I owe before I’ll be allowed inside to retrieve my things. The landlord said I had another week.

Fucking hell. Can this day get any worse?

Before I can begin to process all of this, before I can start to cry, I hear the crunch of tires and a car stopping beside the curb. Somehow, I know without looking up who just pulled up behind me, which makes me want to cry even more. Tears burn the back of my eyelids and my nose tingles.

Alexei hops out into the rain wearing a hoodie and comes over to retrieve the canned goods, bananas, and various cartons and containers that I’m juggling. “You okay?” he asks in that same rich tone that I’ve come to both love and hate in a matter of two short days.

Why is he here? Why does he even care? Why does he always have to see me at my absolute worst? The universe hates me—that’s the only explanation for this horrendous karma.

“I’m fine, Alexei. I told you that.”

He cocks one eyebrow. “You don’t look fine.”

I’m sure I look like absolute hell with stringy wet hair plastered to my forehead, food scattered at my feet, and the eviction notice shining from my door like a gigantic beacon, announcing what a loser I am. Hit by another sudden wave of emotion, I pinch my lips together.

Alexei looks behind me, and I can see his brain registering the predicament I’m in right now.

“Come on. Let’s get Ella. You’re both coming with me.”

My embarrassment may be through the roof, and there’s no denying I need help. But somehow the anger and utter helplessness at my situation is projecting into my tone.

“I’m not your problem, or your little outreach project. You don’t have to worry about me.”

He nods. “Yeah, I know. Just like you didn’t need to take in Ella when your roommate split. But it was the right thing to do, so you did it without a second thought. Come stay with me until things calm down for you and Ella.”

In that moment, I realize that this is all I am to him. An obligation. His latest charity contribution. If he walked away now and the media got wind of it, it could irreparably tarnish his image. So, he has to do ‘the right thing’. Ugh. That makes it somehow even worse.

“I don’t know you, Alexei, and I can’t just come live with you. I can’t bring someone else’s baby into your house and expect you to put up with everything that comes with taking care of a two-month-old, no matter how long this situation lasts.” My voice is as strong as I can make it, but I swear even I can hear the lack of conviction in it.

“Ryleigh, this is no place for a baby. It’s raining, and by the looks of it, you’re homeless. All I’m asking is for you to let me be your Plan B.”

I nod in defeat, the enormity of my situation weighing me down so heavily that I’m not even sure which way is up. What I do know is that Alexei is here, and he wants to help us. I can’t turn him away, even if I wanted to.

“Fine. Let me get Ella.”

Alexei grabs the groceries from me to load into his car while I go to my neighbor’s door to pay her for babysitting. After flipping up the cover on Ella’s infant carrier to shield her from the rain, I hurry back to the car and place the carrier in the back seat. Alexei takes over, buckling her seat in place.

Still fuming mad about my life’s turn of events, and horribly embarrassed, I climb inside his car. There’s not one inch of my clothing that’s dry, and I’m shivering but trying desperately to hide it, because I refuse to give in to it. I’m stronger than that . . . at least, I used to be.

Alexei rattles off his address, but instructs me to follow him. As he drives, he goes slow, making sure not to lose me. Tears gather in my eyes at his ability to make me feel like I’m the most important thing in the world. I know I’m just something for him to fix, but it doesn’t matter in that moment. I stare blankly out the window and wonder if I’ll ever get out of the messes I keep creating.

We arrive back at his place and get settled inside. I don’t have anything to wear, and the only supplies I have for Ella are what were in her diaper bag. Alexei immediately leaves again, heading out into the rain to go get us what we need, putting me even further in his debt.

While he’s gone, I strip out of my wet clothes and run a bath. Ella coos and flails her arms and legs while staring up at me, lying on a towel in the center of the bathroom while the tub fills. I realize that in four days of caring for her, I haven’t given her a bath yet, and I suddenly feel like a terrible guardian. I seriously have no idea what I’m doing. I strip her naked, throw her diaper in the trash, and cradle her carefully to my chest as I step into the warm water and ease us down.

Being skin to skin like this with her, hearing her happy little baby coos, is the first time I’ve really felt close to her.

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, sweet baby girl,” I whisper, cupping warm water in handfuls to pour over her back.

I turn Ella and bend my knees so she can sit up against them while I lie back in the water. She enjoys her bath, kicking her little feet as I lather my hands with soap and wash her from head to toe.

“Hello? Ryleigh?” Alexei’s voice calls from the hallway.

Oh. I didn’t hear him come home.

“In the bathroom. We’re taking a bath,” I call back.