Page 79 of All In: The Price We Pay

“Even though he’s a musician?”

“Of course. Thanks to Bailey, we’re more diversified. That won’t change with the pregnancy.”

“Good. I don’t trust anyone with this except you, Grady. His current management has no idea how to handle a queer artist. But the kid needs every aspect of his personality to express himself. His songs can’t tell some abstract love stories without making it clear that he’s singing about a male ex. We’re not in the ’80s anymore, when artists would use some woman as a front to sing about their broken hearts.” My own words make me sick. That’s exactly what we did with Valentina and Evan. They don’t sing, but we used that exact cover-up tactic. Valentina as Evan’s beard worked perfectly. Sure, she benefited from it, but she, too, owes the public no explanation about her weight. Especially in times she’s struggling with it. She as a single person cannot carry the brunt of this public discussion. In that moment, I wonder if I’m lying to myself more than I’m willing to admit.

My work helps protect queer celebrities. But at what cost? Aren’t we part of this vicious cycle that no one seems to be able to escape?

“I get what you mean,” Grady interrupts my jumbled thoughts. “His public image is supposed to be authentic. Either way, he’ll be accused of checking items off a list to hit the ‘woke’ trigger points. But this kind of artist needs complete creative freedom to express himself. I understand the assignment. Tell your British friend to give me a call. Is it okay if you put me in touch with him?”

“Sure. I have nothing to do with his management. The artist hired us himself.”

“Good. We’ll need your help during the launch phase. I don’t want to let things escalate and have to come to you to clean up the mess afterward. It’s better if we present a clean cut to the public: a change in management, musical style, expression of his personality and nothing else.”

A weight lifts off my chest. Of course I know Grady’s stance, but it feels good to talk to someone who understands you, who’s on the same wavelength. Someone who recognizes professional vision. Who sees potential as opportunities rather than obstacles.

“Thanks, Grady. You two will be a great fit.”

He nods. “I trust you. It’s a shame we can’t work more closely together right now. But . . . ”

“ . . . I have to pay rent.”

He grins. “That is an unfortunate circumstance.”

“I agree.” We laugh.

Grady takes a sip of his water. “How are you doing, by the way? It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other in person.”

Phew. A loaded question. “Good.”

My friend tilts his head slightly and smiles. “Good. No surprise babies?”

That finally makes me laugh. “That’s not going to happen with me.”

“No. For you, it requires some more planning.”

I nod in agreement. Kids. Does Evan want kids? Do I want kids? How would that even work if no one’s even supposed to know we’re together? How would we explain having kids running around him?

“Well? Got more on your plate?” Grady peers at me again with a raised eyebrow.

I lower my head. “You know how it is.”

“Do I? You’ve always been straightforward with me. You’ve never given me a ‘maybe.’ That kind of clarity is refreshing.”

What am I supposed to say to that? Some circumstances in life require that not everything be trumpeted clearly and explicitly. “Come to think of it, I’m not sure if a surprise baby would be the worst thing.”

Grady laughs and puts his arm around my shoulders. He kisses me on the cheek. “You’ll figure it all out. If anyone’s got what it takes, it’s you.”

I think Grady’s confidence in me might be exaggerated a tad.

We eat our risotto, chat briefly about mutual friends, and say our goodbyes. Grady has to run to another appointment, and I should head back to Simon’s. Or at least to the agency.

I leave the office way too late that day. It’s so late that I wonder if I should even go to Evan’s place.

He’s home. He texted me that. But tomorrow is game day. He needs to sleep, and showing up at this hour will mess everything up.

I pull out my phone again. Should I still stop by?

Get your butt over here. I need you. :)