Page 23 of All In: The Price We Pay

“I’m just coming along for the gossip,” Ricky says, and Carly nods.

The three of us walk through the open-plan office and head to the communal kitchen. With my cup under the spout of the coffee machine, I press my preferred combination: double-strength espresso, single serving. I down it in one gulp and grab an oat milk cappuccino before Ricky has a chance to put his cup under the spout.

I wrap my fingers around the warm cup and savor the illusion of coziness. Outside, coworkers are on the phone and discussing problems. Here, I tune out.

“What’s going on?” My feigned calm is disrupted by Ricky’s voice.

“Nothing. I’m serious. It’s just a stressful week. After my first vacation in five years, there’s quite a lot to do.”

“So you think you should take even less time off in the future?” Carly glances at me reproachfully. “It’s the opposite. If you can’t switch off, you should practice doing so.”

I grimace. “Only to come back to this chaos?”

“There’s no chaos. I get the impression that a certain client is weighing on you.” She peers at me expectantly.

“I think so too,” Ricky chimes in.

“Nope.” I shake my head vehemently.

“But you knew right away who we were talking about.” He grins widely, and I feel like a bug under a microscope.

The heat rises up my neck, into my ears and cheeks. “Don’t do that. It’s unprofessional.”

Carly and Ricky glance at each other. Are the two of them communicating without words?

“During, um, my research on Evan Sinclair, I noticed that you two went to the same college.” Carly speaks quietly, yet her words still are a hammer to my solar plexus. “If I’m not mistaken, you were in the same year, too. No shared courses or majors, but I was wondering if you knew that.” She raises both hands. “This isn’t an interrogation. I just happened to notice it. You know our background checks.”

Shit. I should have thought of that myself.

“You don’t have to tell us anything, but . . . ” Ricky doesn’t finish his sentence.

“You know that getting involved with a client would be highly unprofessional. The legal department would tear me a new one.” Now it’s the memory of Evans and my encounter from the day before that sends an uncomfortable heat coursing through my body.

A onetime thing that doesn’t count.

“That’s not what I mean. And officially, I am the lead on Evan’s case. No matter how involved you are. We only wanted to let you know that if you need to talk, we’re here for you. No judgment. And we’ll have your back if you . . . ” Carly eyes me questioningly.

“That’s kind of you, but there’s nothing to talk about. I don’t want to talk about my college days either.” I’ve been carrying Evans’s secret around with me for ten years now; I can keep doing that. No matter what happened between us, no matter how much the media goes after him, he has nothing to fear from me.

“You are sad.” Carly’s words hit me so unexpectedly that tears well up in my eyes.

“Oh, sweetie.” She hugs me, and Ricky sets his cup down loudly. He wraps his arms around us, too.

I’m acting completely irrationally. At least I can count on my friends. The whole situation is absurd, and I start laughing involuntarily. A tear rolls down my cheek. They hold me for a moment longer, then I push them away and wipe my face. “Let’s drop it. Okay?”

“Of course.” Ricky immediately puts on a serious expression. “We’ll forget about this. But you know, the two of us . . . ”

“You’re always there for me.” I nod firmly. “Thanks for stepping in.”

Carly nudges me. “That wasn’t necessary yet. But I’ll take over everything I can from the assignment, okay?”

“That’s the plan, anyway.” I agree with her.

She nods. “But you’re quite deeply involved in this.”

To make my distance clear, I take a step back. “I’m staying out of this from now on.”

“Are you having a party here that I’m not invited to?”