Page 110 of All In: The Price We Pay

Tears well up in my eyes. God, what’s going on? I haven’t cried in decades, but once the floodgates open, there’s no stopping me. Unable to say anything, I only let out a few sounds. “Mhm.”

“Maybe it’s better that your dad never found out.” The words hang in the air.

Sure, I’d thought the same thing, but hearing it confirmed hurts. I’m not the son my father wanted. The son he praised and lauded highly, the one he was proud of during his lifetime. He doesn’t exist and never did. My father never knew me. I’ll be eternally grateful to him for nurturing my talent and paving the way for me to become who I am today. But would he ever have understood and accepted me? I’ll never know, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

My gaze wanders back over Central Park.

But now I have the chance to share my life with people who know everything about me and love me just the way I am.

“Mom, I love you, too. I promise I’ll come home as soon as I can. Or you can come here and we’ll have a real talk. Right now, it’s . . . ”

“We’ll do that. Now, give it your all. I’ll watch the game tomorrow with the folks from college.”

“I will, Mom. I promise.”

“And I hope your boyfriend is better soon.”

I swallow hard. “Thanks, Mom.”

The adrenaline leaves my body, and I let myself sink back against the sofa.

Okay. One step down—a million more to go.

I glance at my phone screen and see that Ricky has texted me. Is there news about Parker after all?

I quickly open the message.

It’s the video he promised.

“I’ll make this quick, Parker. I don’t think I’m even supposed to have this phone with me,” I hear him say from behind the camera. I can’t help but smile.

Parker looks beat. He has a slightly oversized band-aid stuck to his head, and there are scratches on his face—probably from falling onto the curb.

His eyelids flutter. “Hey, you’re here.” He gives Ricky a slight smile.

“Yeah, just a quick ‘I’m alive’ message for Evan. The poor guy has to wait outside.”

“Evan?”

Ricky strokes Parker’s cheek and forehead. “Yeah. You had an accident. Do you know why you’re in the hospital?”

Parker gives a slight nod. “The nurse told me. I don’t remember everything. Stupid e-scooter.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Ricky reassures him immediately. “You focus on getting better first, then Evan can come see you.”

“No.” Parker grimaces, and my heart sinks into my stomach. I’ve hurt him so much. “Evan has to play in the playoffs. He needs to focus. Don’t tell him anything. I love him.” Parker closes his eyes, smiles slightly, and grimaces. He’s in pain.

Seriously. Did someone turn on the floodgates inside me, and am I going to cry until I’m empty?

“And he loves you,” Ricky says, and I could kiss him right then and there.

“I know,” Parker murmurs, and his contented smile returns to his lips. His breathing slows. He seems to have suddenly fallen asleep, and the video has ended.

The turmoil inside me won’t settle down. But a sense of determination takes hold of me, a focus I’ve only ever known considering my hockey goals.

Every injury, every setback was motivation for me to make the best of it and keep moving forward.

It’s time for me to do the same with my life.