Page 86 of To Know Miss May

He didn’t need to finish. But then, he didn’t even need to ask. Surely Mr. May could see the progress Livvy had made.

“What do ye ’spect me to say ’bout it, sir?” August whispered, keeping a pleasant expression on his face to mimic Mr. May’s, though anger boiled within him.

He needed to maintain his cordiality with the man. After all, who knew what else Mr. May was capable of doing?

But August was tired. Tired and confused and, quite frankly, done.

“I be doin’ what ye demanded,” he continued. “I be tryin’ to befriend your daugh’er. But I…” He paused, shaking his head. Before a few minutes ago, August could have told him how happy Livvy appeared, how they’d made great strides in their friendship. But now? “I can’t force ’er to be me friend, sir.”

To his surprise, Mr. May smiled. “It don’t look like ye ’ave to force ’er at all. I only came o’er to say I be impressed with the strides ye be makin’.” He leaned forward, the excitement in his eyes unsettling August. “Did ye see ’er speakin’ with Miss Pengelly like it be nothin’? That ain’t ’appened at church since she be a child. She be far ’appier now than she e’er ’as been. Ye ought to be proud o’ the ’elp ye be givin’ ’er.”

If it truly was help, August would have been pleased. But he could not be proud of his deception. Yes, he truly wanted Livvy to be happy. But then, her father said the same. The truth of the matter was, neither of them could justify their actions by claiming altruism. They were being selfish. It was as simple as that.

“Listen,” Mr. May continued, leaning closer than before. “I just wanted to say I be sorry that I ’ad to take…drastic measures in gettin’ ye to ’elp me. Ye must see I ’ad no choice.”

August could have laughed. Drastic measures? That was putting it lightly. Still, the man’s apology hinted at his actually regretting his behavior. But not enough to change his ways.

August stared hard at him. “We always ’ave a choice, sir. Everyone always ’as a choice.”

Just as expected, Mr. May’s face shifted back to the frown August knew all too well. “Spoken like a young man who ’as yet to learn the cruelty o’ the world.”

August made to respond, ready to tell Mr. May he was doing a fine job of alerting August to cruelty, but Mr. May straightened and spoke again. “There be one thing left I’ll ask of ye ’fore we can set this whole business to rest.”

August tapped his boot impatiently against the stone floor of the courtyard. “And what be that?”

“I’ve already spoken with your mother. She’s agreed to chaperone me daugh’er at the assembly in Marazion at the end o’ this week. It be your job to convince Liv to attend.”

August’s nails dug into the palms of his hands as he clenched them tightly together. His pride was taking a beating, for certain. But it was more than that. His heart, his morals, even his very soul, was being pushed to breaking point.

Never mind the argument he’d just shared with Livvy moments before. That woman had been through so much, suffered so greatly. How could August push her to do more when she’d already done so much?

“I’ll take your silence as a yes, then,” Mr. May said.

Instead of attempting to convince him to change his mind—August would have more success in asking a weed not to grow—he nodded in silence.

Mr. May gave a single bob of his head in return, then walked away down the Mount.

August stared after him, chewing the corner of his mouth.

Livvy was a happier person now. That was what her father had said. August was inclined to believe it, as he had seen her joy for himself. But then, was it socializing that was making her happier—or was it being around August?

Despite his attempt at humility, he was more inclined to believe the latter. In truth, he hadn’t done much to encourage her to socialize with anyone but himself.

So what would happen if he did as Mr. May demanded and pressed her to speak with others at the assembly? Would she fall for someone else? Or was he worrying about matters of no importance because she didn’t even wish to be his friend now?

Blowing out another breath of exhaustion, August turned back to his family and the Pengellys, praying they would not ask after his conversation with Mr. May. He wasn’t sure he would be able to keep his true feelings about the man to himself.

Because one thing was for certain. Of all the words Mr. May had said, August disagreed with one the most—that he had yet to learn the cruelty of the world.

For he had.

And he’d learned it by falling in love with a woman who could never be his.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

“I ought not to doubt the steadiness of your affection, yet such is the inconsistency of real love, that it is always awake to suspicion, however unreasonable…”

The Mysteries of Udolpho, Ann Radcliffe