Page 124 of To Know Miss May

“Livvy?” Emma rested a soft hand to her shoulder. “Are ye well?”

She shook her head, still hiding her face. “No. I…I can’t e’en bear the knowledge. To know me own father’d do somethin’ so despicable….” Then another thought occurred. She lowered her hands and faced Emma with wide eyes. “Did Father tell the Mount?”

Emma removed her hand from Livvy’s shoulder, shaking her head. “No. As far as we be aware, not a word ’as been said ’bout our relationship.”

Relief filled her for only a moment, replaced swiftly with shame over her father’s behavior. “I be so sorry, Emma. ’Bout all o’ this.”

Emma reached forward, taking Livvy’s hand in hers. “Ye musn’t fret, Livvy. ’Tisn’t your fault. None o’ this be your fault. Surely we can all find a way to move forward together, though. To ’elp each other.”

How Livvy wished that were true. But what had happened could not be undone. The rumors had already begun, and Father still did not wish for her to remain on the Mount. Even if Livvy could withstand the gossip, even if she believed that August did have true feelings for her, she couldn’t stay.

“No,” she responded, her voice falling flat. “’Tain’t no way to move past this. I can’t stay on the Mount.”

Livvy had cried so frequently over the last few days that no more tears came, despite Emma’s own eyes flooding with emotion. “Ye really do be leavin’, then?”

Livvy nodded. “There be too much sorrow I can’t face. Too many lost dreams. I can’t put August or ’is family through such rumors connected to me name. And…and Father don’t want me ’ere. That much be clear by the lengths ’e took to be rid o’ me. It’ll be better for everyone if I leave.”

Emma dabbed at her tears with her handkerchief. “Where will ye go?”

“Me father expects word back from ’is cousins any day now,” she responded with a half-smile. The somber mood between them grew, though Livvy did her best to pick up both of their spirits as she would the corners of a blanket, shaking them free of dust and sorrow. “They live in Nanstallon, so not too far from the Mount.”

Not too far. Nearly fifty miles was too far from the home she loved. But this home she loved was now tainted. Colored grey by even greyer hearts.

But ye love the color grey, Livvy.

“I understand why ye wish to leave,” Emma said softly. “Why ye must leave. But…but I do ’ope ye ain’t be leavin’ ’cause o’ August.”

Livvy shook her head at once. In truth, that had been the deciding factor at first. She couldn’t bear to live so close to him with the ever-present memory and knowledge of how their relationship had been tricked into growing.

But now, she was not running away from August. She was running away from her fear of pain.

“No, I ain’t leavin’ ’cause of ’im. I understand why ’e did what ’e did. And I don’t blame ’im for it. But there be too much humiliation to o’ercome. If I leave, ’e’ll be able to move on. The rumors’ll subside as ’e continues workin’ at the castle gardens, livin’ with ’is family, and bein’ ’is usual charmin’ self.”

“Oh, but—” Emma stopped, clamping her mouth shut.

“What be the matter?” Livvy asked, concern growing within her again. Was there something else she didn’t know? Something else of which she needed to be made aware?

Emma chewed the inside of her lip before glancing to the door, as if to ensure they were truly alone. “Do ye not know what else your father did to August?”

Her throat constricted, rendering her unable to speak as she shook her head.

Emma hesitated. “August didn’t want ye to know. But…your father removed ’im from ’is position as undergardener. ’E don’t work in the gardens no more.”

Another blow struck Livvy straight in her heart, and she leaned back in her chair. “But, why? August did all Father asked of ’im, did ’e not?”

“’E did everythin’ but keep the knowledge from ye,” Emma said. “When August told your father that ’e’d told ye ’bout their agreement, your father demanded that ’e not come back to the gardens. Apparently, your father was goin’ to remove Nicholas, as well, but thus far, ’e still ’as ’is position.”

Crushed once more, Livvy’s stomach heaved. August had lost his job because he’d decided to tell Livvy the truth. How had she ever doubted the man? How had she ever doubted him to be as good and gentlemanly as she always thought him to be?

Frustration boiled within her. She was doing what Father wanted by leaving the Mount. Now it was time for Father to do something for her.

Setting her tasks in order, she knew what needed to be done.

She needed to have a word with Father.

She needed to have a word with August.

And more than anything, she needed to have a word with herself. For if she was going to maintain her stance on leaving the Mount, she needed to remember why she was leaving in the first place.