Page 100 of To Know Miss May

“Will ye tell me mother I’ve left for ’ome? And Emma? I know they both be lookin’ for me.” Had Livvy been, as well? “’Night, Nicholas.”

He pushed away from the wall and his thoughts, walking down the hallway, his sole footsteps echoing how he felt that evening—utterly and entirely alone.

“And what about Miss May?” Nicholas said from behind. “What should I tell ’er?”

August slowed to a stop, though he spoke over his shoulder instead of facing his friend. “Why should ye ’ave to tell ’er anythin’?”

He regretted his words the moment they left his mouth. He was being selfish. Cruel. He’d told Livvy to come to the dance. He’d told her he’d love to help her find confidence.

But all he’d done was deliver man after man to her. And had that not been for Mr. May instead of his daughter?

“She’s been wantin’ to dance with ye all evenin’,” Nicholas said. “Emma told me.”

More pressure weighed down against August’s chest, more pain in his heart. “That be why I ’ave to leave,” he said softly. “I can’t dance with ’er.”

“Why not?”

The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t release them. He couldn’t risk destroying everything Emma and Nicholas had tried so hard to achieve together.

“’Cause I can’t be with ’er,” he said.

Footsteps behind him signaled Nicholas approaching him down the dark corridor. “Emma and I ’ave spoken. We appreciate all your ’elp, but we be endin’ the ruse now, as it be destroyin’ your life. If that be the reason ye can’t be with Miss May, then…”

But August shook his head. Any other evening, under any other circumstances, August would have been relieved to hear he no longer had to pretend to be Miss May’s intended.

But he’d rather be beholden to Nicholas and Emma than Mr. May.

“Thank ye, Nicholas. I do ’ope it be what ye both wish. But…I still can’t dance with Miss May. So I’ll be leavin’. ’Night.”

Then he walked away, heavier than ever, for now that his duties with his friends had passed, the only person standing in his way from being with Livvy was her impenetrable father.

And that brought him more despair than anything.

“What ain’t ye tellin’ me?” Nicholas called out, his footsteps joining August’s.

“Nothin’.”

“That be a lie. Friends don’t lie to each other.”

August’s shoulders slumped forward, though he continued to walk, nearing the back doors of the inn as if they held the key to his happiness—though he knew nothing did, no one did, but Livvy.

“I ain’t lyin’. I already told ye, I can’t speak o’ what be goin’ on.”

Nicholas’s footsteps quickened, reaching August just before the door. He stepped in front of him to bar his departure. “I know what ye said. But I don’t believe ye.”

August stared at the door in silence.

“Do ye love ’er?”

August winced. He couldn’t speak of Mr. May to Nicholas. But there was nothing preventing him from speaking of Livvy. Tears pricked his eyes as he chewed the inside of his cheek, then he nodded in silence.

“Then why don’t ye dance with ’er?”

Again, August shook his head. “I can’t, Nicholas. I can’t speak o’ why.”

“There ain’t nothin’ ye can’t tell me, August.”

August clenched his jaw. How could he explain to his friend how wrong he was? Unless…unless August was the one who was wrong. He bit his tongue, shaking his head as fear overcame him.