Page 115 of Rituals & Rivalry

A pained expression crosses his features, and he sets me onto the ground so suddenly. “At the cottage?”

“I mean, well, yeah…”

He runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “I don’t think I can visit the cottage right now, Aurora. I’m sorry.”

My heart sinks. “So, you… don’t want to meet my family?”

He already knows my family, but it feels like a rejection, the very thing I’ve been trying to avoid in my habit of pushing away love. My heart sinks into my stomach.

“It’s not about them or you.” He won’t let go of my hands, holding tighter. “I promise. I mean everything I’ve told you about my feelings for you. Having dinner with your family—while nerve-wracking, I’d definitely have to remember to take my meds that day—it would be a dream. The problem is the cottage. It’s her.”

The look of horror—wide eyes, trembling lips, urgency—is back. I love most of his faces. When he’s screwed up in concentration, with his brow furrowed. When he’s gazing at me while I ramble on and on. When he’s peacefully reading a book.

But I hate this look. I would do anything to wipe it from his face for good.

Wendy. He’s talking about Wendy, whoever she is. And he still won’t admit who she is, or what she is, or why she makes him look like that. I’m seconds from exploding, but I manage to keep my cool. Just barely.

“Her?” I shake my head. “What aren’t you telling me? You said you’re bad at keeping secrets, that you have nothing to hide, but you do. Why? You’re the one who wanted this relationship.”

Hurt flashes across his features. “So, you don’t want it?”

Shit. That’s not what I meant. Is it too late to take it back?

“I didn’t say that,” I whisper, barely audible. “I’m sorry.”

“We should pause. This style of communication isn’t the most effective.” His words are so gentle, but I don’t want to hear them.

I want to run.

“Let’s talk about this later. I set up the telescope. We should use it.”

I look at the telescope and back to him, but nothing makes sense. He’ll buy me expensive gifts and keep them in his tiny cabin, one he built for himself. He’ll spend every night with me. He’ll flaunt me around town, something Farrah says he hasn’t done in a long time.

But he won’t tell me the truth, and there’s a ghost of something nagging at me. I just don’t know what it is.

I let out a shaking breath. “Yeah. Okay.”

Love is worth it, right? Even when you don’t know where it’s going. Even if you’re worried you’re going to lose it.

So, I let it drop. I won’t say goodbye to him tonight, but the promise of heartache is a shadow in the distance.

“You aren’t yourself.”

Jewel’s words float in one ear and out the other. She’s right. I’ve never been good in my lessons with her, if they can be called that, but this is different. I’ve been out of it for the last few days.

Sterling should have been distracting me all along, considering how much fun we were having, but it isn’t until now that I feel lost. He won’t open up about the cottage, and I know it’s not right to make him, but I need answers.

“Then who am I?” I ask, grinning. Deflecting.

She watches me patiently, probably waiting for an actual answer. Which, of course, I’ll give her. It’s too easy to open up to Jewel, even though I tried to avoid it in the start.

“Sorry.” I laugh shakily and roll my eyes. “My head is all over the place.”

“Or just one place?” She sits back in her seat, sipping her tea. “You and Sterling⁠—”

Of course, she knows we’re together. It’s hard to keep a secret in Starbrook, and he and I haven’t exactly been trying that hard. Why should we? We have a good thing. We’re together. Nothing can get between us. All that delusional shit couples claim.

“I promise, it won’t impact our work,” I rush to say.