Page 10 of Fearless

Before he could respond, she took his hand again and squeezed it. “Do what you have to do, my love. I’ll wait for you.”

“No, baby…don’t do this.”

“Not your choice to make. It’s mine.”

“Serena, I want you to be happy.”

“I know that…and I know you think this is the right thing to do. I promise you it’s not. But you’re going to have to figure that out for yourself.”

He had no clue what to say. He knew she was tenacious. She had gone through her own heartbreak, and unlike him, the tragedy had seemed to make her stronger.

“Here’s what I know, Sean. You lost Emma not once, but twice. A pain like that doesn’t go away. It changes you in ways few people could understand. But I know who you are beneath that pain. You’re a man of great character and honor. You are worthy of happiness. Someday you’ll realize that, and you’ll come back to me.”

He had known this would be hard. Known that she would fight this. But once again, he had underestimated this phenomenal woman. She wasn’t going to let him go. Something inside him loosened and lightened. She really meant it. She wasn’t going to let him go.

“Give me time?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Whatever you need, my love.”

Chapter Five

Serena managed to wait until Sean drove away before she lost her famous composure. The words she’d given him had been true, but the calmness had been a facade. Every single second had been agonizing. She had wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and find a way to give him the peace he so obviously needed.

What he had gone through with Emma had been horrendous. Losing her not once, but twice? She could only imagine the pain he had endured. And he was still hurting.

Any anger she’d felt toward him was gone. When you’d been hurt, trust was hard to come by. When you’d been betrayed the way Sean had, on top of losing a child, trust might seem impossible. Her keeping a secret, no matter how justified, had triggered those old feelings of hurt and betrayal. But she didn’t think that was the biggest issue. Had Sean ever allowed himself to grieve for his daughter? When she’d lost Drew, she had gone through a mourning period that had been painful but cathartic. But she’d also had her family and friends with her for support. Who had Sean had? Just Brenda, a person who, no matter how much she cared about Sean, had her own issues with expressing her emotions.

Sean had gone from losing his daughter to fighting to get her back. When that had failed, he’d buried his pain in his work. Then, when he’d learned Emma had been killed, he’d simply dug even deeper within himself. It was no wonder he’d been triggered so easily.

Knowing her husband was hurting tore at her insides. As a woman of faith, she believed in the power of prayer and knew miracles happened every day. She would pray that one would happen for Sean.

She glanced down at the napkin that she had unconsciously shredded. It was a good representation for how her heart felt. Her vision blurred, and despite all her brave words and faith-filled affirmations, despair slammed into her like a sledgehammer. He was gone…and though he’d asked her to give him time, she had no real assurance that he would be back. She had naïvely signed the divorce papers. That didn’t mean they were officially divorced, but what if he filed them and made it official?

Laying her head on her arms, she allowed herself to let go and grieved for both of them. They had come so far and still had so far to go.

She wasn’t sure how long she cried before she felt a large, warm hand on her head, caressing her hair. She didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.

“I signed the divorce papers, Dad.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said thickly. “I’m so sorry.” Pulling on her arm, he said, “Come here.”

Just as she’d done when she was a little girl, she went into her father’s arms, put her head on his shoulder, and allowed herself to be a child again. She heard her father’s soft murmurings as he comforted her the way he had so many times. Then, when the sobs slowed, he gave her a good hard hug and then seated her back in the chair beside him.

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to give him some time, and then I’m going to go after him with everything that I have.”

“That’s my girl.”

Wiping her eyes with one of the napkins on the table, she asked, “How did you know he was here?”

“I saw him pull into the drive.” His smile was sad as he added, “Hoped for a different outcome. Do you want to talk about it?”

“There are things in his past…when he was barely twenty. They messed him up.” As coherently as possible, since her emotions were still swimming in grief, she told him about Emma and the losses Sean had suffered.

“No wonder trust is hard for him,” her dad murmured.

“I wish I had known. Maybe I could have helped him more.”