Page 75 of The Christmas Competition

Once we got into the car and waved to everyone as we drove away, I shot Kerr an impressed look. “Oh my goodness. I can’t remember the last time I was the center of attention in that house. How on earth did you do it?”

He shrugged. “Easy. Just pointed out the obvious. That you deserve all the praise and attention in the world.”

My mouth practically dropped open. “You are so getting lucky once we get home.”

He arched an eyebrow. “I think, Nisa love, you’ll find that you’ll be the one getting lucky. Multiple times.”

And with that I eased my foot a little harder onto the accelerator.

29

Kerr

I WRAPPED MY fingers around the mug of coffee Greg handed me, so the heat from the mug could seep through my woolen gloves and into my fingers. I took a grateful sip as he settled on the blanket next to me by the shore of Loch Auchness.

I glanced down the blanket, the memory of Nisa climbing on top of me during our first kiss flooding back and heating my blood a couple of degrees.

Greg chuckled next to me and I gave him a sidelong glance. “What is it?”

Smiling, he blew on his coffee. “You. Got the lovesick look again, which indicates you’re thinking about Nisa. And I’m not going to ask what exactly you’re thinking, because I’m pretty sure the answer would be X-rated.”

I puffed out a breath, deliberately choosing to stay silent on that one.

“So are things official between you guys? Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?” he asked in a silly voice.

“Yeah,” I said, then paused. “I mean, I think so.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You think so?”

“Well, we haven’t had a ‘what are your intentions’ conversation in so many words. But we’re pretty into each other.” I paused again. “I think.”

Greg shifted a little to face me. “You’re not exactly being very definite here. Where’s your head at?”

I hesitated, debating whether to go with my stock phrase— “I’m fine”—​which had served me well through the years. But something about Nisa made me want to seek counsel. Something about her made me want to fight to keep her. “I like her. I really like her. Maybe a bit too much.”

He frowned. “I’m not sure there’s such a thing as too much, mate.”

I swallowed. “There is if someone isn’t sure about you in return.”

He let out a low whistle. “Okay. We need to unpack that. Why would you think she wasn’t sure about you? Both Lynn and I have witnessed how into you she is.”

God, I hoped that was true. “When I’m with her, I do feel that,” I said slowly. “But then when I’m not, the doubts creep in, you know?”

“Not really. So tell me.”

I took a breath. “When I first built bridges with Nisa, it was clear she wanted her ex back. She was so upset about Aileen’s pregnancy, in a way that I wasn’t because the door had closed for me on that relationship even before we’d actually split. But for her, it was like the last hope she had for a rekindling had been snuffed out.”

“But that was just her gaining some closure, no?” Greg asked, watching me intently.

“That’s what I’d like to think. I also like to think that the discovery that Drew ran over Izzy and then lied about it has cemented her feelings for her ex. But I’m also worried, because I want her to be sure the two of them are over and to know she wants me because of how she feels about me, not just because she’s angry with him for being an insensitive arsehole about the pregnancy and for hurting her cat.”

Greg was silent for a couple of seconds, seeming to mull over what I’d said. “I get that. But I do think she’s sure because of how she feels about you, not because of her negative feelings toward Drew.” He eyed me. “Don’t you think that you should tell her all of this, and then she’ll know where your head’s at and be able to offer you some reassurance?”

I shook my head. “It’s not as easy as that.” Especially not for me; all of this acknowledging my emotions and expressing them was new territory. “I don’t want to admit any of this and have her pity me or be disgusted by my insecurities. Or worse,” I added. “Give her some sort of epiphany that I’m right and that, despite everything, deep down it’s still Drew she wants.”

I took a miserable sip of my coffee, what was smooth before tasting bitter in my mouth. “I don’t want to drive her right back in his direction. Especially since he’s been hovering around her again ever since we bumped into him in town.” Sometimes I wished we’d never gone there that night; then Drew wouldn’t be back on the scene, and perhaps I wouldn’t feel like such a nervous wreck over Nisa.

Greg was silent, so I brought my gaze back to him. “I understand,” he said, and it jolted a shock through my system. I couldn’t remember another guy saying that to me before. My father certainly hadn’t. And I didn’t need a degree in psychology to know that my fear of Nisa or anyone else showing disgust at my expressing vulnerability stemmed from that being his very reaction whenever I’d made the mistake of doing so as a child.