Page 120 of Crowned By Roses

My vision grows hazy, and one of my eyes burns as a river of blood drips into it. I wonder why my chest hurts so much. Why each breath is torture. Maybe my ribs are broken. Or a lung has collapsed.

There’s a ringing in my left ear, the side that took the brunt of the trebuchet, but that’s just annoying.

I’m not wearing my armor anymore, I realize. It and the Bow of Radiance have dematerialized back into the token. Oh well. Doesn’t really matter. Don’t think I could raise my arms to shoot even if I wanted to.

There are so many things I need to do. I need to try to heal myself with my magic. I need to get out of this mud and the blood that keeps running over my arms. I need to tell Kel that I’m not feeling very well.

But like the sky, my mind is filled with smog, and the stars of my magic are all winked out.

With great effort, I turn my head to the side and stare at my outstretched hand. A finger. Just move one finger.

But I might as well be trying to lift an entire mountain.

My hazy vision blinks in and out, but I catch sight of the battle raging around me. Screams filter through the ringing in my ear. A soldier’s throat is slit by a jagged knife. There’s no blue and silver armor to be seen anymore, except down in the mud. Like me. Tears join my rivers of blood.

I’ve never seen so much death.

Is…is this what it’s all been for? Wasn’t that what we kept asking ourselves? What is it for?

And this is what it’s led to. What I’ve led to.

A sob bubbles up my throat, causing an explosion of pain. Why am I always so wrong? I trusted myself. To be a good queen. A good mate. A good person.

And now, surrounded by other soldiers, we’re all dying alone in the mud.

I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing my vision would stop spinning. I’d rather the darkness.

The thought creeps up on me, slow and tentative: I’m scared.

I don’t want to die alone. Where is Kel? I wish he were here to cradle me. But that’s selfish. He needs to fight as long as he can. Needs to survive.

Where are my other mates? What happened to them? Please, let them be alive. Don’t be waiting for me wherever I’m going to go when I die. Please, please, be here.

I need to believe that they’re still alive, still fighting. If we’re all to die, if this was all for nothing, I hope they die somewhere else, with the sun upon their faces.

But there’s too much pain within me. The words are scattering in my mind. Fear, cold and sharp, clutches my heart.

Papa’s waiting for you, I remind myself. I’ll see you soon, Papa.

The thought does comfort me. And with the very last of my energy, I flip my hand, digging my fingers into the soil.

I just want to feel Castletree one more time.

Stand up, Rosalina.

The voice is familiar. My fading mind fills with images of our cabin in Orca Cove. When it was just the two of us. Warmth flutters over me.

Stand up, Rosalina, Papa’s voice says.

No, Papa. I want to see you now.

Stand up, my girl. Stand up!

Annoyance flashes through me. My ribs are shattered. I can barely breathe. There’s nothing left to⁠—

Stand up. Rosalina, stand up!

My father’s voice is an echoing cry in my mind. What does he want me to do? My body is broken. All I want to do is creep into the dark shadows where this pain won’t find me…