Page 54 of Cassian is Getting Out

Ruari swept his knuckles beneath Cassian’s chin. “I wasn’t sad, gorgeous.”

“You were in bed for weeks.”

“I was just tired. Pushing myself too hard. Don’t worry about it, yeah?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. Cass, no. You didn’t do a single thing wrong.” Ruari’s thumb found the dip behind his ear and rubbed there. “You were perfect. You’re always perfect.”

Cassian leaned into the praise, the way a plant leaned towards whatever window had the most light, and it would have been so easy to stay there, to let Ruari’s voice and Ruari’s hands smooth over the question until it stopped mattering.

But Colin’s rule sat heavy in his head.

Don’t just believe someone or do what they want without question.

“You weren’t just tired, Ruari. Tired people just make up for it by going to bed early. You didn’t get up from bed at all for days.” Cassian counted the evidence on his fingers. “You didn’t eat. You didn’t bake. You didn’t talk to me, and Raf had to hire a whole new person to do your job. Your flat smelled bad, and you had a lot of empty whisky bottles about.”

Ruari’s hand stilled on his neck. “Cass. I had a shit couple of weeks, that’s all. My knee was acting up, and that made it hard to move. You don’t need to—”

“Are you sick, Ruari? Not with your knee, but sick?”

Ruari’s jaw set into the hard line that Cassian recognised from the bad days.

“I’m not sick.”

“But something’s wrong, Ruari. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like that you were so different from how you usually are. That’s not normal!”

“I said I’m not sick, Cassian.” Ruari lifted Cassian off his lap and set him on his feet. “Don’t call me that. Don’t fucking call me sick. Aren’t I allowed to just have bad days?” He crossed his arms. “Everyone has bad days, Cass. That’s just a fucking part of being human.”

Cassian took a step away from him. His heel found the leg of the kitchen chair and he steadied himself on it, both hands gripping the backrest.

“Yeah,” he said. “’Course you can have bad days, Ruari. Everyone can. But can’t you tell me why? So I can help, or something. So I know what’s happening, and I’m not just sitting there guessing while you’re in bed for weeks not talking to me?”

“You can’t help.”

“I can try—”

“You can’t fucking help, Cassian, and you shouldn’t have to. I’m a grown fucking man. I can manage myself.”

“’Course you can, Ruari.”

Cassian loosened his grip on the chair, and waited for the part where it turned. He’d watched enough episodes, on enough shows, to know how the next thirty seconds were supposed to go after their first big argument. The alpha says something harsh, and the omega absorbs it, and the air crackles between them until one of them closes the gap.

Colin and Diwa did it all the time. Colin would say something cutting, and Diwa would catch him mid-sentence with a kiss that drowned out the rest of his complaint. Lysander and Hamish did a version of it too, though theirs involved more swearing and at least one slammed door before the kissing part. Even on My Brother’s Alpha Best Friend, when Victor told Lily he didn’t need saving, the scene had ended with Lily slapping Victor to shut him up, and then leaning in close for the conciliatory kiss.

Ruari’s hands would soon find Cassian’s face. The kiss would arrive and reset everything, and then they’d be fine, the way they were always fine once Ruari was touching him.

Cassian lifted his chin. He softened his mouth because an alpha needed to see receptivity before he could act on the impulse to kiss him.

Ruari stayed where he was.

His arms didn’t unfold. His eyes held Cassian’s, flat and exhausted, and he did nothing to hide it.

Cassian’s chin stayed lifted. His mouth stayed soft. He held the position for three seconds, then five, then long enough that the muscles in his neck began to ache from the angle, and the kiss didn’t come.

So Cassian closed the gap between them in two steps and started the kiss himself. Ruari’s mouth opened under his just long enough for the breath to go out of Cassian. But then Ruari’s hands closed on his wrists and pulled them down from his face.

“Don’t do that.” Ruari held Cassian’s wrists. “I’m not some knothead you can distract by rubbing up on me and giving me a kiss.”