Page 49 of Cassian is Getting Out

Lysander pulled me off him. He put himself between me and Uriel, and he was shaking. I could feel it, since he’d grabbed my arm and his hand was trembling.

He was smaller than Uriel, and Hamish wasn’t home. Lysander knew all of that, and he still stood there and told Uriel to get away from me.

[Pause.]

That’s when I knew.

COUNSEL ASSISTING: Knew what, Cassian?

CASSIAN CALYX: That Uriel couldn’t be the Evermate the Universe had written into my heart. Not after seeing how he treated Lysander.

Uriel called him an unbonded omega who wallowed in sin. He told him the Light had left him in the cold and dark where he belonged. He said it in a voice I’d never heard Uriel use before, like he believed with his whole self that Lysander was less than him because of what he’d done with his body. He hated that Lysander didn’t have a bond, and that the world had seen him naked.

I’d heard that voice before from the Lumineer, when he spoke about omegas who had strayed. Charles used it when I cried. It was the voice that says: I decide what you’re worth.

And Uriel pointed it at Lysander, who’d been kinder to me in three months than any alpha in the Family of Light had been in twenty-two years.

So I told Uriel to stop.

[Pause.]

He didn’t stop. He attacked us. He hurt me and Lysander.

[TRANSCRIPT CONTINUES]

Chapter Eighteen

The longganisa was still warm when Cassian let himself into Proving Ground with the key Ruari had cut for him three weeks ago. Diwa’s good tupperware held garlic fried rice pressed flat underneath the sausages so the fat soaked into the grains the way Ruari liked it.

Diwa had been at the stove when Cassian came downstairs at six, frying the longganisa in their casings until they split and caramelised at the edges. He hadn’t said anything when Cassian pulled the tupperware from the drawer and held it out. He’d just spooned the rice in first, laid the sausages on top, and snapped the lid shut with both thumbs.

Raf was behind the counter with his sleeves shoved past his elbows and flour in his eyebrows, moving between the till and the kitchen doorway. A woman Cassian had never seen before was pulling espresso shots at the coffee bar.

“Hey, Cass.” Raf jerked a thumb towards her. “This is Lisa. She’s helping out while Ruari takes a bit of a break.”

“A break from what?”

“Just a break, mate. He’s upstairs. Go on up if you want, but he’s having a quiet one, yeah?”

“Thanks, Raf!” Cassian was already heading for the stairs to the flat, and found the door unlocked.

Ruari was in bed with his eyes open, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. The curtains were drawn, and the room smelled stale, like sheets that needed changing.

“Good morning, alpha!” Cassian set the tupperware on the bedside table, fetched a fork and spoon from the kitchen, and peeled the lid off. The smell of sweet pork and fried garlic wafted into the bedroom. “I brought you breakfast. Diwa made longganisa, and I got the rice exactly how you like it, with heaps of the garlic bits.”

He pressed the fork into Ruari’s hand, curling his big fingers around the handle one by one. “You told me it was the best thing you’d ever eaten. Three times, Ruari, you said that. So I brought you heaps!” Cassian held them in place, willing them to stay on their own.

Ruari’s hand stayed where Cassian had arranged it. His fingers didn’t close around the fork.

Cassian smiled and sat on the edge of the mattress. He told Ruari about the argument Ivar had started in the MOAN chat over whether octopuses could feel love, which Felix had ended by sending a voice note that was thirty seconds of heavy breathing followed by the word imbecile.

Ruari didn’t eat, or even turn his head towards the sound of Cassian’s voice.

Cassian’s mobile buzzed against his thigh. A message from Diwa: Leaving for Colin’s appointment in 20. Tala’s fed and changed. Bottle’s in the fridge.

He put the lid on and set it where Ruari could reach it without sitting up. Leaning down, he kissed Ruari’s forehead.

“I’ll come back after, alpha. I’ll come back and we can eat together.”