Page 47 of Play With Me

It was like a pressure valve released. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m pregnant.” I joked, crossing my arms over my chest.

Has balked. Eyes wide, he looked around as if to make sure we were alone in his dorm room. He knew we were alone.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, “is it Will’s?”

“What??” I squeaked. “I’ve never had sex with Will!” I threw something at his face.

“Really?” Hasan said, dodging. He was genuinely surprised.

“Uh… what part of whatever we’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks makes you think Will and I have been hooking up?”

“Oh geez, I don’t know,” he said sarcastically, “maybe it’s because you guys were on the verge of detonating in a sexual explosion before you even met in person. I thought you hooked up the night you got your award. Then the whole thing with Nathalie. I just kind of figured he would fall into your clutches.”

“Eww. You know I hate the word ‘clutch’,” I said over the rising lump in my throat. Is that how he thinks of me? Do I have clutches? “What does that even mean?”

“You know,” he said, “guys fall in love with you, and you’re all, ‘I thought we were just casual.’” He shrugged. “I’m relieved Will took my advice.”

It hit like physical pain—my best friend casually gutting me without realizing it. I slid off the desk to face away. I felt tears pricking my eyes.

Will took his advice. Does Will think I have clutches? It hurt to imagine the people I care about thinking I was careless with others’ feelings.

“I’m not pregnant, Has. I just feel weird in all of my soft places. I’d be relieved to find out some kind of parasite was to blame,” I tried to laugh it off, looking around for a bottle of water.

“Oh, thank God.”

I knew what he meant—I’d never mentioned babies or wanting kids, but I was already sensitive, and it felt like he twisted the knife a little.

“Do you think I’d be a bad mom or something?”

He froze, then really looked at me. His expression shifted, softened.

“No,” he said sincerely, wrapping his arms around me. “I think you’d be an amazing mom if you ever wanted to be one, sis.”

I released a shuddering breath and spoke into his chest, “sis?”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “I kind of love it when Will says it.”

Me, too. It made me feel cozy and cherished. Like he was covering my toes to keep them warm.

23

Misunderstandings

Boston, MA

Will

Louisa looked like she’d been crying. I raised my eyebrows at her, You okay? She nodded, wiping her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. She’d seemed low these past few days. I hoped she hadn’t gotten another creepy text or that something was wrong with the house.

She was staring at my class papers on my bed, and I was instantly on alert for one of her pranks. It would be quite the stack up since one of mine was sitting right there. I wondered if she just hadn’t seen it yet.

Ortiz used to read my letters from home like they were going to tell him something about me I was hiding, but Louisa is the second nosiest person I know. I’d really thought she wouldn’t be able to resist the folded-up piece of notebook paper. Damn.

It didn’t say anything, but I’d filled it with superfine glitter, hoping to nail her snoopy ass. Siobhan gave me that idea. I love having sisters.

I was excited to introduce Lou to my mom and Siobhan. She’d already met Ciara, and all three had already met Has. I’d also invited Brooks, Miller, and Jackson. Big crowd for our small house, but Mom would be thrilled.

“Lou, are we still picking you up from the studio? The guys are going to meet us over there.” I wanted to make sure I got there early enough to help Mom cook. Dad was always there in the kitchen with her, getting in the way, and I knew she loved it.