Page 15 of Play With Me

“When you think about your future, what do you imagine it being like?”

Excellent question. I paused painting my nails, my other hand unfinished.

“I want to take care of someone and have someone who takes care of me. If they’re the same person, that would feel most equal, but I don’t feel like it’s a requirement. I want to be free to love other people in different ways and to varying degrees.”

I don’t want to feel like I’m hurting someone I care about by being true to myself.

“So you and Hasan aren’t together in a traditional sense, but what you’re looking for in a life partner is exactly what you have with Hasan right now?”

“Yep.” I chuckled.

“And you’ve never gotten jealous or possessive over him?”

I resumed painting. “Not when he’s dated other people, but I don’t know if that will change when we’re talking about ‘The One,’ because it hasn’t happened yet. He wants romance and monogamy and a family. He’s not like me. Change is inevitable, and I’d like to think I’ll handle it with grace because I want him to be happy, but who knows.”

He was quiet for a moment, then laughed. “That is the wildest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“What about you?” I prodded him, wiping purple off the side of a finger instead of looking at him. “You said you’re the boyfriend type, so if you weren’t leaving in January, would you pursue a relationship with Nathalie?”

“Nah,” he laughed. “She’s slumming it with me. You have to look her up on Instagram. Her family is loaded, and her friends suck ass.”

I almost admitted I already had in a fit of pique. She wasn’t slumming it. He didn’t need me to defend him, but I wanted to.

“It doesn’t make me sound very sexy, but fuck it, I just want to be a good husband and father someday,” he said.

“You do give off dad vibes,” I teased. “Have you ever been in love?”

“I’ve never told a woman I love her, if that’s what you’re asking, but I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love at first sight.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and I felt a pang of something unidentifiable. “What’s the weirdest thing you find attractive?”

Pas de bourrée. I let him have it.

“Hmmm. What are those garters for old men that hook their socks to their shirts?”

“Shirtstays? They keep your shirt tucked in and your socks from falling down. What’s weird about that?”

I laughed out loud. “I’d never heard of anyone under the age of ninety wearing them until you were changing out of your uniform the other day.”

“I’m literally wearing them right now… how wet are you?” He grinned.

8

The Bear, the Beard, and the Bread

The Bronx, NY

Will

I tore through the halls looking for somewhere—anywhere—to hide. I could hear him behind me. Not far enough. Any second, he was going to catch up, and I’d be totally fucked. Eight-year-olds were way faster than I remembered.

I yanked open a closet and slipped inside without checking if it was empty.

“Ow—fuck!” Has hissed. He shoved me back into a row of coats. “Find your own spot, you dick.”

“Dude, no. We both fit, and if I go back out there, he’s gonna nail you, too.” I pressed a finger to my lips, and we both went silent as footsteps thundered past the door. Only after they faded did I let the breath out of my chest. Hide-and-seek was only fun if you treated it like life or death, and the kids at Has’s and Lou’s old group home understood that perfectly.

“Could’ve been worse,” I muttered, shifting to give us both a little space. “One of us could’ve been a child, and then it’d be a kill or be killed situation.”

“Thank you for being a grown-ass man so my nuts can rub up against you and nobody calls the cops,” Has whispered sarcastically. I stuffed a scarf in his face, and it kicked off a quiet struggle between us.