Page 76 of Graves

“Levi!” Koh snaps at his brother. “Hold still!”

“How the fuck am I supposed to?” Levi growls with his legs half drawn up, clutching Damian, who stares blankly ahead, helping Koh by doing exactly what he’s told.

In my brain, a voice screams “Get the hell out of here!” but my escape route is blocked.

Molten lava pumps through my veins, thick and scorching, while deep within me a violent storm brews. The pressure bears down on me from every direction, suffocating. I stalk back and forth between the dining table, kitchen, and living room, slamming my fist against my wrist again and again.

The pain keeps me from doing something stupid, even though my head is empty right now and I have no idea what that something would be.

“You got lucky,” Koh says as he concentrates on stitching the wound. “The knife didn’t go deep. It was a knife, right?”

Levi lets out an annoyed sound, followed by a pain-filled groan.

“Hold still,” Koh says, way too composed.

How can he stay so cool?

He was a nervous wreck yesterday. Now, he’s turned into an emergency surgeon who has the situation under control.

Who is this guy?

That’s fuel for the raging fire inside me and I can’t watch this anymore. I grab a beer from the fridge and retreat to the terrace. My wrist hurts from the punches and my hands are shaking as I take a big gulp from the bottle.

But even that doesn’t calm me.

I’m hot one moment and ice-cold the next.

My insides rumble like an active volcano, and I don’t know what I can do to keep from exploding.

I’m not someone who loses it easily, but ever since I got out of prison and came back to New York, it’s been tingling almost constantly under my fingernails. There’s such immense pressure inside me that I feel like I could burst any second.

“Fuck.” I step to the railing, drinking in big gulps. Voices bombard me from all sides—voices that exist only in my head.

“Get something stronger!”

“Throw them out!”

“Call Fox, have him take you somewhere.”

“To the next bar!”

“Or to Liam. He’s stocked.”

My thoughts drift to the pills Liam gave me.

I push them away with an annoyed snort and start pacing again.

15

—

Aran

Since Koh turned the entryway into an operating room, every light in the apartment is on. I stare through the brightly lit space like it’s a shop window, watching him and Damian carry Levi into Koh’s room.

You’d think that would silence my panic, but it doesn’t. My heart is racing and I’m fighting not to spiral into another round of chaotic thoughts.

When Koh comes around the corner and washes his hands and forearms in the kitchen, I barely recognize him. He looks composed and intensely focused. With a wet cloth, he kneels in the entryway and cleans the wooden floor. He returns to the sink twice to wring blood out of the cloth, then throws it in the trash.