Page 96 of Play Room Actor

“I remember … there were pills in his bathroom. Lithium … something.”

“Lithium carbonate is used for mental disorders.”

It was as if I had sensed it all along but just ignored or refused to acknowledge it. Bachmann’s words struck me like a sudden landslide, leaving me speechless.

“You’re worried about him,” Bachmann observed correctly. “That’s good. Maybe you should consider what you want to say to him when you see him again.”

I nodded. Ever since Saturday, this had been the predominant thought in my mind. “I’ll figure something out.”

After the session, I headed to rehearsal. My heart raced like a revved-up engine, thumping hard against my chest as I entered the theater. I kept reminding myself that no one here knew about my escapades—except Kilian.

I did my job diligently, focusing on the lines and scenes. When I saw Sebastian on the walkie-talkie and heard him talking about a spotlight issue, I paid attention. But it was Tim who responded over the radio.

“Is Kilian off today?” I asked Sebastian.

He glimpsed at me, surprised. “I thought you knew where he was.”

“What? Me? Why would I?”

“Didn’t you two sort out what happened last Thursday?”

I was standing with Sebastian on the side stage when I heard Theo’s voice from the audience.

“Hamlet?” he called out.

“But he had a performance on Sunday.”

“Tim was here.”

Theo’s voice grew louder. “Where’s Hamlet?”

“Maybe Theo knows more now. I haven’t seen him since he left last Friday.”

“Dominic! Where are you?” Theo called out impatiently.

I ran out onto the stage and kept going as if nothing had happened. The fact that Kilian seemed to be missing was unsettling, so I decided to stop by his place on my way home. I had planned to confront him and face my mistakes. Kilian deserved the truth from the beginning, but I hadn’t been man enough to let him in on the darker parts of my past.

No matter how many times I rang the doorbell, Kilian didn’t seem to be there, so I went home. Nico was sitting on the balcony, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey!” he shouted once he saw me. “So? How’d it go?”

I knew he wasn’t interested in my therapy session or my workday—he wanted to know how things went between Kilian and me.

“He wasn’t there,” I said, sitting down at the table with him.

“Where was he?” Nico asked, still staring at his phone intently.

“I have no idea. What are you doing?”

“Urgh!” Nico groaned in frustration, putting his phone down. “I tried making an Instagram account, but the damn thing’s not working.”

I laughed and took his phone. He was still in the app. “You already have an account. What’s not working?”

“I want to change the name,” he pointed at the profile name.

“You can’t do that for another two weeks.”

“What? Why not?”