Page 138 of A Better Man

“Okay, old man. He was Anglo. Not fat, but soft. I didn’t like him. Didn’t trust him.”

“How many people do you trust?”

Toby gave one gruff laugh. But didn’t answer.

“I think we have enough,” said Beauvoir. “We’re going to leave you now.”

He slowly lowered his arms and held out his hand toward Daphne.

This was the moment.

“My gun, please.”

Daphne looked up at Toby, who raised his gun slightly.

Seeing this, Cameron raised his slightly, before Gamache could signal him to stop.

Toby, alarmed, raised his gun more, until it was pointing at Beauvoir’s head.

Jean-Guy was staring straight down the barrel.

Everyone froze.

This was, Jean-Guy knew, a bullet he would not feel.

“It’s all right,” said Gamache softly. “No one needs to get hurt. We’re almost done.”

He stopped talking. Allowing the tension to ease.

He saw Toby’s gun lowered. Slightly.

It was a millimeter in the right direction. But they weren’t out of it yet.

Please, Gamache begged. Please don’t let anyone come into the alley now. Please.

The moments stretched on. Elongating.

Gamache wanted desperately to say more, to try to reason with the boy. But he knew it would be a mistake. If they were to avoid a bloodbath, the next move had to come from Toby.

“Go,” said Toby.

“My gun,” said Beauvoir. “You know I can’t leave it behind.”

“Do you want to die, man?” shouted Toby. “Get out, before I change my mind.”

Oh, for God’s sake, what’re you doing? Cameron’s mind screamed. Let’s go. Oh, please, let’s go.

And Jean-Guy Beauvoir wanted to. With every part of his being, he wanted to turn and walk away. Run away. Go back to Annie. Hold her tight. Smell the sweet, fresh scent of her. Hold Honoré in his arms. Get on a plane to Paris and never look back.

But he couldn’t go. Couldn’t let go. Not yet.

Instead he stood there, staring. Willing the boy to see what he saw. They held each other’s eyes.

Finally Toby spoke. “I’m fucked, aren’t I? If I shoot, he’ll kill me. If you leave without the gun, you’ll be back to get it. You have to. You’ll find us and arrest us. Daph and me.”

“That’s true,” said Beauvoir.

He gave Toby a small nod. Of admiration. Acknowledging the boy’s logic. And clarity.