Page 62 of Believe In Us

I was so in love with Lincoln. My God, it was ridiculous. This love was so much bigger than my love for my ex. I believed I loved my ex, but it was just a different love. Maybe after you’ve been hurt and after you’ve been through the charred pain of betrayal, love ran deeper. Trust was so precious. I told myself again and again and again that it was all in my head and that it would be okay.

Lincoln had another nightmare. This time he did not let me drag him down to the kitchen for hot cocoa. He told me he needed to walk. Okay, sure. The next few days were crazy busy for all of us. He walked and came back to bed, like usual.

I was sitting in my office at five-thirty in the morning, because this morning, a week before Christmas, Lincoln had another nightmare and went for another hike in the snow. I knew how to snowshoe. I could go with him. But here I was doubting my instinct to give him space.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. My heart was breaking. I was afraid, and I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to give him space? Was I supposed to be more present? Clingy was not my personality, and who wanted someone clingy anyway? My ex, such a great guy, had told me once that I was too quick to give him space when he asked for it. So now, I was second-guessing my every instinct. I let out a sigh, just as I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

I recognized the voices rather than the footsteps, because the only footsteps I recognized were Lincoln’s. It was Asher and Grady. “Hey, Chloe,” Asher said, stopping in the doorway and waggling his brows rather dramatically, while Grady rolled his eyes at his brother.

“Good morning, Asher.”

“Are you usually up this early?” Grady looked distressed on my behalf.

“Yeah, I’m an early riser.”

“No wonder you and Linc are doing so great together. He’s always been an early riser. Fucking weird.”

“Might I point out that you’re up?” I said dryly.

Grady flashed a grin. “I know. Yeah, we’re doing that cross-country ski thing, and they want to see the sunrise.”

“Oh, that’s right. That’ll be pretty.”

“Of course it’ll be pretty, except I’ve seen plenty of sunrises. Why did you assign me and Asher to this one?” Grady was serious.

“Um, because there are other things happening this morning.” Asher shoulder-checked his brother. “We gotta get rolling. It’s a big group this morning.”

“I know. Lincoln and Haven are with you on this one,” I added.

“How come Jude and Cole get to sit this one out?” Asher asked.

“Because Cole is taking Adele to an appointment in Anchorage, and Jude is helping Kendall. Animals come first.”

“If you want to start getting out of these things, you better get set-up with a girlfriend or a wife or something,” Asher said dryly, his gaze on Grady.

Grady’s eyes went wide at that, and I chuckled. “Nice to see you guys.” With a wave, they were off.

Later that morning, I made my way down to the kitchen. I found Maggie and Elsa sitting at the table. It was the time of day after most of the guests had scattered, either back to their rooms or to whatever jaunt they had planned. Most of those who were scheduled for anything were on the cross-country ski trip, and they wouldn’t be back until early afternoon.

“Come sit. Get some fresh coffee,” Maggie called over.

I helped myself before joining them. “What are we doing?”

“Actually, just relaxing,” Elsa said.

“Well, that’s a plan,” I teased.

Maggie’s gaze met mine. “How are you and Lincoln?”

Elsa pressed her lips together to keep from laughing.

“We’re fine,” I said, trying to keep my tone casual.

“Fine?” Maggie pressed.

Elsa pinned her with a look. “Maggie, seriously. Maybe give Chloe a little space on this.”

I chuckled. “Thank you, Elsa. I think we’re good.”