Page 56 of Believe In Us

“I might.”

“Do you actually have the number?” he pressed.

“Yes,” I muttered. “It’s in my phone because that’s who my therapist in Fairbanks recommended.” I rolled my eyes, letting out a little laugh.

He clapped me on the shoulder. “Anytime you need to talk, I do mean anytime, I’m here. You wake up in the middle of the night and need to chat, send me a text. I’ll meet you outside.”

“I know.”

“And you fucking know we’re all here for you.”

“I know!” I insisted. Because I did know anyone in my family would be there for me.

“All right. We good?” Haven asked his tone lighter.

“For the moment, yes.”

Just then, as if on cue, Cole came walking through. “Whoa. What’s up, man?” he asked, glancing between us. Cole was the jokester in the family, but his heart was huge and we all knew it.

“Nothing,” I said, my defensiveness giving me away.

“Obviously it’s not nothing. What? Do I gotta give you a pep talk? A hug? Let’s hug it out.”

In a way, that was exactly what I needed to break through the moment, to remind myself there was lightness to be found the midst of the heaviness. I just had to grab hold of it sometimes.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Lincoln

Overdue topics

The following day, I was busy trying to believe my brothers were right. Intellectually, I knew they were, but emotionally, my heart was stubborn. My doubts could be fucking loud sometimes.

Chloe and I seemed to have gotten out of sync. After weeks of everything feeling easy, there was an obvious friction between us, like sand caught in the gears, grinding at the edges of my emotions.

I stopped in her office one afternoon, as I did almost daily, and she looked stressed. Her eyes were a little tight at the corners, and that smile I loved so much was tense. She was taking a call for the resort and gestured for me to sit at the table. Her phone vibrated in the middle of her call. It happened to be on the table, right in front of me. I recognized the number.

My hand literally itched to snatch the phone up. Was her shitty friend still texting her? Fuck that friend, fuck her ex, fuck this whole fucking mess that still had the nerve to reach into her life.

Chloe finished her call, her tone gracious and friendly with the customer. When she tapped the button to end it, she glanced over.

“Is she still texting you?” I asked, without preamble.

Her eyes widened a little before she let out a quick sigh.

We didn’t hide our phones from each other, but we also didn’t rummage through them. I trusted her completely. That was never in doubt. I just didn’t want her to carry this alone.

“It’s Lara. I actually talked to her.”

“You did?” I was startled by this. It hurt a little, actually more than it should’ve, that I didn’t know this detail. Emotionally, I was rummaging through my doubts, pulling them out like worn pieces of clothing that I should’ve tossed long ago.

“It was just the other day. There just hasn’t been a minute to talk in depth. You know how busy it’s been.” She let out a heavy sigh, her cheeks puffing with it, as she stood from her desk and took the few steps to sit in the chair at an angle across from me. “When I see you—” her words ended abruptly, her cheeks going a little pink, and I knew what she meant.

We were losing ourselves in the one thing that still felt really easy, that chemistry spinning around us every night, a fire that kept burning hotter and hotter. Sweet hell, it felt so fucking good.

“And you’ve been having nightmares,” she added.

One of my hands was resting on the table, and she reached for it. I laced my fingers with hers and held on tight.