Page 12 of Believe In Us

Jude sat down across from me. We’d always been close, maybe by virtue of age with only a year between us. He waggled his brows and I stayed quiet, deciding the best option was not to engage further. Blessedly, my brothers let that drop. You never knew with them, or I supposed with any sibling group. Sometimes the teasing could drag on. Of course, I also knew it was bound to come back up. I was just relieved my family had mostly stopped tiptoeing around me.

Over the last few months, I’d been a little surprised to discover I was glad to be home. It was hard to love a place down to your bones, to feel like the landscape, the air, the sky, the mountains, all of it, was a part of you, just as you were a part of it. Only to be afraid that feeling had been stolen from you.

We’d all been through the wildfire, we’d all lost our father. And, we’d all lost our sister Bree. For me, there were still remnants of sharp pain, stinging almost, where I felt like I somehow should have been able to save her that night. I got her out of the fire, but that wasn’t enough.

After I finished high school, dust kicked up behind me when I left. I banged college out head down, working the whole time. I’d fled to Fairbanks, a good ten hours away, into training to be a hotshot firefighter, thinking that would be my life, that would be how I could ground myself again. Because being in the wilderness made me feel at peace, even when it was on fire.

After a rescue, helping a family isolated in a hunting cabin during a wildfire, the superintendent on my crew had tactfully referred me to therapist. That therapist had carefully pointed out that some people run straight for the thing that frightens them. I had, of course, assured her that fire didn’t frighten me.

I came to understand she was trying to help me tolerate the pain from the scorch marks of grief. She’d also helped me see just how deep the ache in my heart was, how much I missed my family, how much I missed Heartfire Falls. This was home, and I was glad to be here. I’d feared it would be nothing but constant memories of Bree and the night of the fire. I still had nightmares about it, and I’d all but resigned myself to having those for the rest of my life. But the place I loved finally loved me back again.

Haven’s voice punctured my train of thought. “Lincoln.”

I whipped my gaze over to him.

“Yeah, I think we confirm the date for that dipnetting trip.”

We had to plan any of our own trips well in advance to work around the business.

“Whatever you think, man.”

“Whatever I think?” He raised a brow.

“Yeah, totally.” I chuckled.

“You’ll let Chloe know too so she marks out those dates for us?” Haven prompted.

I gestured with my palm around the table. “Anybody can let her know. We all see her.”

“Yeah, but you have a crush on her,” Grady said. He spoke as if he were simply stating a fact.

“What?” My tone was sharp enough I knew I’d given myself away. Every single one of my brothers glanced over.

“Yep, you have a crush,” Asher offered with a wink.

“Oh, my fucking God,” I muttered, not about to admit they were right.

As if the universe decided to play a joke on me, Chloe came walking in just then with a clipboard. She loved carrying a clipboard around, and hell if I knew why, but it was sexy. Fuck my life.

“Hi, guys.” She glanced around with a smile, and it was near impossible not to smile back. Just another detail to add to the list of things I would never admit to anybody. I felt my neck get a little warm when Jude met my gaze and waggled his brows suggestively. Fuck my life all over again.

“I was just about to text your dad. We’re scheduling our dipnetting trip for next summer soon. I figure he wants to go, right?” Haven said.

Chloe beamed. “Yes, he would love it. He’s never been. He’s already planning his net, which seems like a big deal this far ahead of next summer.”

Dipnetting was only available to Alaskan residents, and as simple as it sounded. You dipped a net in the water to catch salmon swimming upstream to spawn during set times of the year. There were net size specifications, and people went all out to create their preferred type of net.

“Would you like to go too?” Haven asked.

“Me?” Chloe chirped, pointing to herself in surprise.

“Yes, you,” I said dryly.

“I don’t have a net.”

“We have plenty of nets,” Elsa offered. “You can choose. You can listen to the debate about which nets are best.”

“Oh, my God, that would be so fun. Really?”