Page 101 of All We Carry Home

“Maybe I have too.”

He moved in closer. “You’re the most frustrating, stubborn woman I’ve ever met.”

“I’ll consider that a compliment.”

He eased back a small step and shook his head. “I just don’t want you to be alone with all of this.”

His words washed over me, and warmth spread through my limbs. How did he know that I was alone? That I was swirling in a sea of uncertainty and doubt without Gramps here to anchor me. But I loved having Eddie, Annie, Peter, and the rest here. It was so easy to be next to Warren, and I felt the absence of his presence so painfully whenever he wasn’t nearby.

Fire scratched at my eyelids, the feeling abnormal and terrifying. I drew in a deep breath, my body shaking in protest. My vision blurred. I hadn’t cried a single tear in the past twenty years. After what my parents had done, and what the press had done to me when I had no way of escape, I’d vowed to keep it all locked inside.

It had worked year after year, battle after bloody battle. I wasn’t the one who broke down—I was the one who comforted those around me. I was the rock, the shoulder among the tempests.

Now my feet wavered, my foundation crumbled. Around him. Only ever around him.

I didn’t even notice how it happened, but I was pressed against his chest, my face buried in his shirt that smelled of straw, sweat, and his soap. He wrapped his arms around me, with no care to the mess of fluids and afterbirth all over my shirt and pants. He just held me, pressed his cheek to the top of my head.

After a few moments, the rapid beating of my heart slowed and my breathing steadied. I willed the tears back, though I knew I was safe with him. Safe to cry, safe to laugh. Was it even safe to tell my secrets?

I yearned for it. The past month of him working alongside me had been a happiness I’d never hoped for.

I put my hands against his chest and pushed away slowly. Painfully.

“You don’t have to talk about the war.” He looked down at me. “But I’m here if you need me.”

I do need you, I thought, biting my tongue. More than you’ll ever know.

Footsteps rang out from down the hall, and a groom walked up. I stepped away from Warren and put a smile on my face. “Just in time. It’s a boy.”

The groom brought over other auction staff and a veterinarian to assess the colt, so we took our leave and found Adia, Annie, and Peter near the front gates, the auction now ended.

I couldn’t get the conversation out of my mind, nor the way Warren’s arms felt wrapped around me.

What in the world was I going to do now? How would I be able to push him away to protect him and his reputation if I yearned to be next to him?

Bret and Adia had fought through a war to be together. Warren and I had found each other again despite massive odds. Even though I was the wrong woman for him.

A future with me was a field littered with land mines.

No one would walk away unscathed.

Warren

As the sun sank behind the show grounds, Eva and I finished helping Adia load up the last of her horses bound for a nearby stables, where she’d board them until their home purchase finalized and Bret, Lubor, and Ewan were able to return from Europe.

“I’m heading back in a few weeks,” Adia told me, brushing some horse hair from her hands. Eva, Annie, and Peter stood several yards away, looking over a group of white Lipizzaner horses. Adia crossed her arms and looked at me, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “I heard from Kenneth recently. He mentioned you’ve been looking after Bennett, Lucky, and some of the others from the 42nd.”

“If you hear of any other fellow soldiers who might need a job and a home, let me know.”

“I will.” She frowned. “Kenneth mentioned you were running for office, though.”

I winced. “I return to Philly in August.”

“Are you sure about that?” Her tone went brittle.

“I made a commitment to Kenneth,” I said.

Adia jerked her chin toward Eva and the children. “What about them? They need you—or at least Eva does. Kenneth can find another person to shepherd into office.”