Page 15 of Worst Wingman Ever

I beat myself up about it the whole way back up to Frank’s.

When I got there, Andrea was still sitting at the counter.

Andrea was a hairstylist. She did Frank’s hair, and she did a good job.

“Hey, when do you work next?” I asked. “I was thinking about getting a haircut.”

“Yeesssssss!”

I knew instantly that I’d made a mistake. She was way too excited.

“I’ve been wanting to get my hands on your head for months!” She bounced. “This is going to be the most epic ‘before’ and ‘after’ ever.”

“I just want a haircut, Andrea, nothing big.”

“Oh, we’re going big. We’re hitting brows, beard, skin care—I’m about to transition you out of your caveman era. Frank, he’s finally letting me do it!”

“The end of caveman era?” my brother called from the other room.

I rolled my eyes. “You’ve talked about this?”

Andrea nodded, wide-eyed. “Definitely. Many times.”

“Wow. You two are obsessed with me.”

“Here’s the thing, John.” She put her hands together. “You are a giver. You do everything for everyone else before you do a single thing for you. I honestly think that’s why the Brenda thing hit you so hard. Instead of being like, ‘Wow! This is a great guy!’ she took it for granted and screwed you over, and when she left, you had nobody to love, and you didn’t know how to love yourself.”

I blinked at her. That was oddly insightful.

“You deserve self-care,” she said, going on. “You deserve to feel good and to look good and to let someone do something for you for a change. Just let me.”

She looked at me earnestly.

I let out a puff of air. “Fine.”

She did a little dancy thing in her seat.

The next day I was Pretty Woman’d within an inch of my life.

Did I look the best I’d looked in years? Yes. Was it at the expense of my dignity? Also yes.

She insisted I participate in a “before” and “after” video for the salon’s social media. She refused to let me pay her, so I felt guilted into agreeing to it.

All the comments on it were backhanded compliments.

It’s like one of those videos where the guy quits drinking and they do a before and after

Was he homeless or is this just some guy? He’s cute now tho for real

Okay, but why did he look like Encino Man? It’s giving Brendan Fraser

I had to stop looking. Apparently the transformation was jaw-dropping, that’s all I needed to know. I now had the confidence to approach the mystery woman if I ever saw her again.

If.

In the meantime I had a lot to think about, because Andrea was right. I did put everyone before myself. I always had.

Maybe it was time I learned to take care of me.