Page 74 of The Friend Zone

I went on. “You reenlisted. It’s done, and my position on another deployment hasn’t changed. I’m not doing it. We are not getting back together. So I appreciate the explanation and the face-to-face. But none of this changes anything.”

He leaned onto the table with his forearms and spoke directly to my eyes. “I love you.”

My heart clenched.

I’d heard the words on the phone a hundred times. He’d written them in letters. But it had been almost a year since he’d looked me in the eye and said it to my face. And now that he did, there was no question that he meant it.

He waited, but I didn’t say it back. I wasn’t sure if I loved him.

I wasn’t sure that I didn’t.

Someone dropped off some weird salads while Tyler and I stared at each other tensely across the table. The green menagerie smelled faintly like seaweed, and I actually felt a little nauseous looking at it. The only thing I recognized on the plate was a cherry tomato, and even that was yellow instead of red. I pushed the plate away and crossed my arms, scowling.

I wanted to put out the stupid romantic candle flickering between us. I grabbed the glass votive and dumped my water into it, and Tyler wrinkled his forehead at me like I’d gone insane.

“What do you want from me?” I asked. “Closure? Forgiveness?” I picked up the sloshing votive and moved it next to the salt and pepper shakers.

His gorgeous green eyes canvassed my face. “Do you remember the day we met?”

I scoffed. “Of course. You were so lame. How could I forget?”

He smiled. “You’d convinced the piano player in that bar to let you play. It was incredible. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

The corner of my lip twitched. It was the last time I’d played. Two years ago.

I had a booth at a pet trade show in Orange County, and I was staying the night alone in a hotel. I had a few drinks in me, and nobody there knew me. The notes had soared from my fingers, and I saw him there across the room, under a light at a cocktail table like a scene from a movie.

Everything around him had blurred.

He continued. “I asked you your name, and then I wrote it in calligraphy on a napkin. And you laughed at me and asked me if that ever actually worked on anyone.” He smirked a little. “It did, you know. It worked on every girl before you.”

This made me smile, and I felt myself soften. “You were so well dressed I thought for sure you were gay.”

He laughed, his eyes distant like he was pulling up a memory. “After you gave me a hard time for my stupid pickup tactic, I tried to buy you a drink. You said all you wanted was a new napkin. So I got you one, and I folded it into an origami swan. That really pissed you off.”

I snorted. The damn origami swan. I still had it, though I’d never admit it. “I was pretty salty that day. I had no patience for desperate acts of origami.”

He chuckled. “You told me if I could beat you at thumb war I could have your number.”

Yeah. I hadn’t seen that win coming. I’d never been bested. He had surprisingly agile thumbs.

I remembered how my heart had fluttered when our hands had touched. I’d been immediately attracted to him. The chemistry was instantaneous.

He shook his head. “I’d never met a woman like you before. You told me to go to hell and made me look forward to the trip.”

He scooted his chair around so he was sitting catty-corner to me. Our knees touched, and a small thrill ran through me.

How close I had come to living with this man. To sharing my life with him. It could have been him sleeping in the bed next to me instead of Josh, my cuddly teddy bear.

Tyler’s piercing eyes seemed to reach into my soul, and I couldn’t look away.

“I couldn’t throw my career away, Kris. I worked too hard to get to where I am. They dangled an opportunity in front of me, I panicked, and I did something stupid, and I’ve regretted it every day since.”

He let out a shaky breath. “The morning after I left you that message, I woke up and I felt like I’d buried myself alive. I tried to call you right away and…” He shook his head. “This silence has been like a siege. I’ve been so desperate to get to you I almost went AWOL. You have no idea how hard it’s been. I’ve been out of my damn mind.”

He reached for my hand again. His expression was so raw I thought it might break him if I jerked away, so I reluctantly let him take it. His touch sent an unexpected jolt through me. A shiver of memory.

He looked down at our hands as he threaded his fingers in mine. My heart began to pound.