Page 96 of Falling Back to You

“Which you lost.”

My face scrunched up. “I let you win.”

“Bullshit!”

Hoisting my arm upward, I said, “Hand to Bible.”

“Then I demand a rematch.”

“Sorry, I don’t scream for free anymore.”

His mouth twisted into a mischievous grin. “You were screaming pretty loudly last night.”

“That’s because your tongue was on my coochie and your dick was hitting my button.”

“Fair enough.”

Flora dropped our drinks off and had the nerve to flash Oz a smile before leaving.

He took a long swig from his glass before saying, “You’ve been tight-lipped about school. Tell me how it’s going.”

“It’s only been a few weeks, and I hate to admit it, but I was a bit overwhelmed between lectures, readings, and discussion posts. But I think I’ve got a routine down. I wake up early to read my assigned chapters for the week, and at night after I put Maple to bed, I’ll listen to the lectures and take notes.”

“You can’t fool me. You’re loving this shit.”

“I am. It feels like I’m finally stepping out of my comfort zone.”

“I don’t even get how you ended up in your protective plastic bubble.”

“Well, life whooped my ass pretty bad, and I was forced to retreat,” I said.

“One thing is certain: the act of living is gonna come with bumps and bruises. It’s like climbing a tree—you’re bound to end up with a skinned knee, and if you’re unlucky, you limp away with a broken arm.”

“And I used to be okay with it. I embraced the added element of danger. But something in me changed. I don’t know if it’s being a mom or getting older, but I’m scared in a way I never was before.”

“What scares you?” he asked.

“Hell if I know. Take school, for instance. I’ve been wanting to go back for years. But I just thought it would be too hard, and everyone would be smarter or cooler than me.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I’m serious, I just feel…” I didn’t have the words to express how our relationship had played a major role in my anxiety and the need to close myself off. I no longer viewed life for its potential but by how it could hurt me. “Shit, I don’t know what I feel.”

“So now that you’re enrolled, are the kids smarter and cooler?”

“No, I’ve been able to keep up and maintain an A average. It’s only been a few weeks, but it’s nice not already feeling behind. And a lot of the other students in my class all have day jobs and are returning to college after taking some time away.”

“So you fit right in.”

“I guess I do. Not saying it’s not hard. Some nights, the last thing I want to do is schoolwork. But this is a commitment I made to myself. I wanted to do something for me, just for me, and I think this might be it. Because while I’m tired, when my head hits the pillow, I feel good about how I spent my day.”

“I think it’s important to find that balance between parenthood and self,” Oz said. “It’s easy to get lost in the school drop-offs, after-school sports, or music classes and nightly routines. We need to keep a piece of ourselves, too.”

“I learned that lesson too late.”

“But you learned it, and that counts for something.”

Flora returned to check on us, but this time she lingered, making small talk—primarily with Oz.